----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Carolyn Schindewolf" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, December 12, 2007 11:14 PM
Subject: Re: [LACTNET] client with "severe nipple pain"


> Royce:  Sounds like the classic "yeah, but" patient.  Have had many.  I 
> wouldn't contact her; sounds like she has already decided what the agenda 
> would be.  I'm sure it has nothing to do with you.  I tend to take my 
> patient's success/failures personally but we have to remember we are there 
> to consult.  There is nothing we can do if the consult isn't followed.
>
> Carolyn Schindewolf, BS, LCCE, IBCLC

**I agree with this. In the Netherlands, we have a word for this: 
"excuus-Truus", Truus being a somewhat oldfashioned girls name. It means 
that sometimes you get the impression that, indeed, women have already made 
up their minds and they call you either in order to be able to say they 
called an lc and even she couldn't help, or to get your 'blessing': "Yes, 
this problem is só serious, you have no other option but to stop 
breastfeeding." In most cases, the last thing isn't true. I often say: "Many 
problems are not insoluble in itself. It greatly depends on how much time 
and energy you are willing and able to spend on solving it. Only you can 
tell when you run out of energy." Presenting weaning as something that has 
fallen on a mother like inevitable fate, makes her a victim, which isn't 
very empowering in the long run. It will also make it harder to accept 
things, so I'm very much in favour of trying to make mothers see that they 
are making a (conscious) decision, rather than being overwhelmed and seeing 
only one way out: quit. Not choosing something from my 'trick box' is up to 
them, it's their freedom, but by spreading their story of 'invincible 
problems', women can easily put other mothers at a setback, which is sad and 
better be prevented. Everyone is different, often you don't know in advance 
how much strength you will find in hidden drawers that can be pulled open by 
your love for your baby. And sometimes the other way around: even well 
organized women with demanding jobs can be exhausted by the unpredictability 
of a newborn. I had my feeding-moms-group yesterday evening: absolutely 
wonderful, to see how they encourage and strengthen oneanother!

Warmly,

Marianne Vanderveen, Netherlands

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