In a message dated 4/27/01 12:27:04 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:


> .  It is evident that
>

Although I do agree with many of your instincts, I have to say the obvious:
no matter how much you plan, parenthood is so different from what we expect
that many of our pre-birth plans seem untenable after a baby is born.  I
thought, oh, I'll take three months off and then work 3/4 time and have a
nanny.  My husband was going to cut down his work hours, too, so we'd share
parenting equally.  I looked down on women who stayed home full time, even
though I never would have said it to my friends.  But after my son was born,
I couldn't quite believe how intense my desire to be home with him was.
Breastfeeding made that especially intense, I suppose.  Luckily, although it
was not an easy transition, it was quite possible for me financially to stay
home AND it was possible for me to maintain ties to my career by writing
while my son slept.  So I was lucky because of my financial situation and
because of my career.  Many feminists like me are SHOCKED by their own
desires to be home with babies.  They HAVE planned for post-birth--but now
that they've met their babies, the situations changes, and sometimes things
are not really feasible at that point for a wide variety of reasons.

Respectfully,
Hannah

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