On 13/05/2012 02:17, Maria Paciullo wrote:
> I do like the term normal breastfeeding rather than extended.  Maybe we need to stop worrying about making moms feel guilty if it means lying to them.  Extended breastfeeding is really normal breastfeeding, and if moms know that they might start feeling cheated and feeling angry at the healthcare providers and family members and……who interfered with their ability or desire to breastfeed for as long as they would have liked.  Formula companies try to the use the "don't make mothers feel guilty" argument, and it is just a way for them to keep on doing what they are doing while dumping all of the responsibility on the mothers.
>
Guilt isn't the emotion I was concerned about.  I'm concerned about 
anger, alienation, and pressure.

When we use the term 'normal-term breastfeeding', with its implication 
that breastfeeding for less than that length of time is somehow abnormal 
or insufficient (not to mention its implication that there even is a 
'normal' for something that's so hugely variable and individual, or that 
there's a particular duration we *should* be aiming at, but let's set 
that aside for the moment) then the effect is to frame the discussion in 
terms of "My way is right, and your way is not good enough."  This is 
not conducive to reaching people or winning them over.  It doesn't make 
others feel 'guilty' - it makes them angry and alienated.  It fuels the 
Mommy Wars and creates an artificial and unnecessary division between 
lactivists and those they wish to win over.

There is also a risk of making women feel pressured into nursing their 
children for longer than they would otherwise have wished to do, 
something I do not consider any more acceptable than the far more common 
pressure in the other direction.  Not everyone who weans before the 
lactivist-approved age is a frustrated would-be-long-term-breastfeeder 
hoping for rescue from society's mores - many women either want to wean 
at the stage they do, or simply, for various reasons find it the most 
practical thing to do.  I do not feel it to be in any way helpful or 
appropriate to push them towards a different decision.

I would also strongly question whether it is appropriate to describe the 
term extended breastfeeding as 'lying' to women, when there are such a 
range of different weaning ages and when 'extended' reflects the 
sociocultural reality of most of the women we see.  We may of course 
choose not to *reinforce* that sociocultural reality by continued use of 
the term, and it may be inappropriate for that reason, or for the reason 
that it can be insensitive to women who feel alone in wishing to nurse 
for longer.  But that's not the same as labelling it dishonest, which is 
another concept entirely.


Best wishes,

Dr Sarah Vaughan
MBChB MRCGP

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