In my La Leche League Group, we open our meeting with an express statement
of the value of the diversity among us. We invite women to take from the
meeting what they think will work for them, their baby, and their family in
their situation--and to leave the rest. We explicitly tell them that if
they do not have to agree with everything they hear at the meeting to be a
part of this Group. If the suggestions and experiences shared by mothers
leans toward one end of the spectrum, we intentionally invite the sharing
of other options and experiences. We explicitly state that there is no one
right way to breastfeed and no one right way to mother. We explicitly state
that our members might breastfeed for two days, two weeks, two months, two
years...that we have mothers who are pumping and feeding their babies their
expressed milk, who are directly breastfeeding, who work outside the home,
who are partially breastfeeding, who are exclusively breastfeeding, who are
stay-at-home mothers, etc. We explicitly state that we are here to help any
mother breastfeed in any circumstance. Not a meeting goes by that I do not
acknowledge the role of culture in breastfeeding, the barriers to
breastfeeding that mothers face in our society, the difficulty of having to
pioneer so many things, the challenge of "swimming upstream," ... We
regularly address the issue of guilt and how mothers feel about mothering
and breastfeeding--and why.

In spite of my and my co-Leaders very intentional efforts to convey
acceptance, respect, and resources for the diversity of experiences,
values, and goals among breastfeeding mothers who come to our Group, some
mothers come and go--deciding for some reason that our Group is not for
them. Perhaps they got what they need and moved on. But...perhaps they
never heard of breastfeeding until one year of age and felt uncomfortable.
Perhaps they have never seen a breastfeeding three year old and felt
shocked. Perhaps they have never heard of co-sleeping and felt appalled.
Perhaps they have never heard of the impact that exclusive breastfeeding
has on a baby and experience painful emotions about not having known that
information. They may feel guilt. They may feel shame. All I can do is make
every effort that it will not have been because I failed to address the
cultural issues that contribute to such feelings and because I failed to be
accepting of and responsive to the diverse needs and experiences among us.

This is just a snapshot of one Leader's efforts in one LLL Group at one
point in history. I'd be very interested in hearing how other people strive
to meet the needs of breastfeeding mothers in a group setting. Clearly, it
is not an easy thing to do!

Warmly,

Cynthia

Cynthia Good Mojab, MS Clinical Psychology
(Breastfeeding mother, advocate, independent [cross-cultural] researcher
and author; LLL Leader and Research Associate in the LLLI Publications
Department; and former psychotherapist currently busy nurturing her own
little one.)
Ammawell
Email: [log in to unmask]
Web site: http://home.attbi.com/~ammawell

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