> In light of our discussion on scheduled feeds, I wonder how many of us on
> Lactnet (a) have issues with food
> food used as either reward or punishment...."If you are good, I'll get you an
> ice cream cone." OR, "You've been bad.  You'll go to bed without any supper."

I've often thought the same thing.  I know I eat too much sometimes just
because I enjoy the flavour.  I could easily gain too much weight, but
do try and exercise on a regular basis and like the calorie-burning
effects of lactation (at least for me)!  ;-)  I consider myself rather
"average"...not super-model thin, but not very chubby either.  ;-)

My mom was never able to force feed me anything (starting with the
nurses trying to force Similac bottles down my throat in the nursery
before her milk came in...I just thrust them out and threw up).  She
tried getting me to eat baby cereal for MONTHS with no success, and only
marginal success on a few fruits.  Until she added rice crispies to my
rice cereal.  I needed solid hunks, not mush, I guess.  ;-)

I myself cannot force myself to eat something I don't want to eat.
Luckily I eat just about EVERYTHING and am not at all fussy.  My nephews
though, are constantly having their parents shove spoonfulls of their
meal down their throats when they're being too slow.  I wonder what the
parents would do if they gagged on the spoon like I used to...

I was never told (to my memory) that I was bad and couldn't have supper
before bed, though if I was "bad" I was served up my food in my room,
away from the rest of the family (only happened once that I remember,
when I was suspended from kindergarten for writing on the desks in
indelible ink!).  We may have been told more often that if we were well
behaved when on some outting, we could get X treat (ice cream, chocolate
bar, etc.).  I don't have any real memory of that either though.  We did
get one chocolate each (good quality one, from a chocolate store) for
each "A" on a report card in the later years.  ;-)

I also remember being told that if I wasn't hungry enough for supper, I
obviously wasn't hungry enough for dessert.  If I didn't *like* the
supper, I could look in the fridge and find something else (youghurt,
piece of fruit, cold meat, etc.), but I had to eat something "good for
me" before passing on to the dessert *and* my mother said she was not
running a soup kitchen, so we could either eat what was on our plates,
find something else we could prepare (sandwich in the fridge, etc.), or
go hungry.  It usually wasn't a problem for me (I'd often take 2nd
portions), but was moreso for my brother who was a sweet tooth and a
fussy eater.

However, I do remember a number of years at being panicked at the idea
of going out to a restaurant, where *I* couldn't control the portions,
and thought I wouldn't be able to finnish the meal.  My mom had a friend
who took me out once and insisted I finnish up everything on my plate
(at about the age of 10).  I went to the washroom to be ill 3 times
during the meal...it was the only time I did something like that, and I
think it was just the idea of an "authority figure" (someone to respect)
saying that to me.  I think that set in motion the feeling of panic when
faced with a meal *I* didn't serve (i.e. large portion).  I quickly
learned when I was young, to judge my stomach size and take a portion I
could eat when I was allowed to serve myself.  I rarely get this
wrong...except when feeling ill.

For this reason, I never try and force anything into my daughter's
mouth.  Sometimes I ask her to have "just a taste" of a new food, but if
she doesn't want to, I don't force the issue.  She eats lots of foods
right now, and will probably add the brussles sprouts and asparagus that
are not liked now, to her regime later on in her life.  ;-)  I present a
plate to her and let her eat what she wants.  When she was younger, if
she didn't want anything, I'd just figure she'd make up for it nursing.
Now, I offer something else that I don't have to prepare really (apple,
avocado, toast, whatever)...but usually she eats something from each
meal.

Fio
ressource person with Allaitement Québec
Mama to Sandrine, 26 mos, and #2, 11/2002

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