Valerie wrote,

> I cannot say to the mom of a neurologically-impaired infant that despite
> her pumping her milk for a year and all her continued efforts over the months
> that she is not a breastfeeding mother.  I cannot say that to a mother of
> baby who had cleft lip and palate that never went to the breast.  I
> cannot see their tears of grief over the loss of the breastfeeding relationship
> and say to them you aren't or weren't a breastfeeding mother. I think
> language is important. Our language is important to mothers.
>
Those of us who truly love words and value language know that precision
is not entirely related to denotation, but to connotation, and that the
message needs to be adapted to the audience.
Among ourselves, then, let's use the proper, technical term upon which
we agree, and with the mothers with whom we work, let's use language
that is sensitive and empathetic. It is like choosing to call "it" a
baby or a fetus. If she is crying over a miscarriage, then to her it is
a baby who has died, not a fetus which has been spontaneously aborted,
whatever is written in the file. (Now... on to lactation management...)
Jo-Anne

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