Pamela, thank you for your eloquent essay that includes everything I can
think of that needs to be said about LC work. It bears repeating over and
over, so I have copied it below even though it takes up a lot of room on
LACTNET. You have expressed what we need to remember in our work and have
done it in a way that I cannot even touch. BEAUTIFUL WORK AND WORDING!
I have often been accused of being a fanatic about breastfeeding (BF) and I
enjoy that compliment (I looked the word up in the dictionary). The ABM
companies have their million dollar marketing geniuses who know that
creating a rift between LCs is one way to fight BF advocates; they know we
are right and will be unethical in undermining us. Our fellow colleagues and
other women can be used by the ABM companies to be our worst enemies; they
try to make us feel guilty for standing up for the truth, and for truly
helping women and infants. But how can we feel guilty when we are trying so
hard to do what is right?
I wish all those on this listserve who have fallen for the ABM marketing
tactics would rethink their stance and cross over to the other side. We are
not being militant; we are actually helping women and infants in the way
that helps them most efficiently - by empowering women to help themselves.
By hiding the truth, not only from the women, but also from the healthcare
providers, we are informing neither entity. Who suffers the most as a
result of that? The women, and more importantly, the infants suffer. The
infants are the victims of the mentality to accept the women and the
healthcare providers where they are, and to not educate them about what
caused the problems. Instead, we SHOULD be helping them rise to a higher
level (in a gentle and respectful way). That is the only way they will be
prepared to not repeat the same mistakes in the future. The women can even
go on to help other women in their communities as peer ambassadors. The
ripple effect is wondrous to behold.
Respectfully submitted,
Lee Galasso, MS, IBCLC, RLC
##############
Date: Sat, 25 Feb 2006 23:03:35 EST
From: Pamela Mazzella Di Bosco <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: honesty and lactation issues
I personally feel the attitude that we hold back the truth to be a huge
part of the problem in all things called 'women's health'. Do we do the
same for the health of men? Do we worry about guilty feelings when we tell
a man his choices can hurt him or someone he loves? No. We save that
patronizing protection and 'need to know' for women. I am a woman and I
find it insulting.
I think it is entirely possible to share the information in a way that
protects the mother from being unable to hear. (And, if she feels attacked
in her choice, she will shut out the information.) After all, what we are
saying is not what the rest of society is telling her. We are saying
breastmilk is unequaled and there are risks to the alternative, and she is
seeing all around her breast is best, but formula is just as good. While
we may want her to see the truth, she may be unable to since no where else
is giving her the same message. I still think she needs the message, and I
think it is our duty to tell it, but I think we have to be sure we do it in
a way that respects we
are the only ones saying it. Her doctor tells her it doesn't matter, the
hospital nurses tell her it doesn't matter...the hospital sends her home
with proof it doesn't matter. If she is in the USA, is unlikely she has
seen more than a handful of women breastfeeding....if that. And, all her
friends and family think she is nuts, or at the very least will encourage
her to quit at the very first hint of trouble. Everyone basically nods
their heads at her choice to use formula and along we come telling her it
makes a difference.
Is it militant? No. It is honesty. It is an unwavering belief that
breastmilk is not just best, it is base of normal development in all areas
of human health. It is the building blocks of not only today's healthy
baby, but tomorrows healthy adult. It is impossible to act as though it
really doesn't matter when you know it does and once you have the
information, to be unwilling to share it--or in many cases as a hospital
based employee unable to share it is unethical. I am so frustrated when I
hear the word militant given to those who choose to abide by their personal
and professional ethics. The assumption seems to be that we are unable to
share honest information and the truth without kindness and awareness of the
discomfort that knowledge may bring.
I do completely and personally understand that formula is sometimes the
only choice mothers have in the USA to feed their babies. I do understand
the reality is some mothers cannot breastfeed, some babies cannot
breastfeed, and some must do some of both. However, I do not see that
reality as incompatible with knowledge. I am often in the sad place of
explaining to a mother that supplementation is necessary and why. I never
make light of the seriousness of not being able to breastfeed exclusively.
I never make light of not being able to breastfeed. She will hear that
everywhere else. From me she will hear the truth. It is unfair, her baby
deserves to be breastfeeding, she deserves to breastfeed her baby, and
whatever is interfering with this reality is unfair. With me she will know
that it makes a difference and it is worth more than a passing
thought....not lifestyle choice, but a health choice that affects her life
and her baby's life Something so uniquely female and powerful and purely
mother that her body aches with the reality that she cannot do what she
desires most of all. Will she feel guilty? I don't know, I hope
not. But, if she does feel guilt, she can talk about that with me too and
we can dialogue to see if it is guilt, or more like anger, regret, grief.
I am trying to understand why it is not possible to both tell the truth and
at the same time not beat the mom over the head with it. I get that what
is done is done, and we don't want to lose all of breastfeeding over one
bottle or two or three... I understand we want her to continue to breastfeed
no matter how little. If she wants to use formula, likely she will do so
no matter what we say. But, maybe, just maybe, we will be the one to tell
her the truth--those bottles of formula do matter-- and she will realize
that she can breastfeed exclusively and be grateful for the knowledge. And
if not, she won't be able to claim ignorance. And, if that makes her feel
guilty, well, sorry, but if you are purposely make a decision with full
knowledge of the consequences and you are able to make another choice (and
the key here is "able to make the better choice") guilt is what you are
supposed to feel. I can't be everything to everyone, but I can be true to
myself, my ethical obligations, and my own personal professional standards.
That requires me to tell the truth, tell it gently, but tell it. I will no
lie to a mother -- she is a woman just like me and I respect her as such and
will not hide from her what she needs to know. I assume her intelligence
and ability to make informed choices. I do not feel the need to shield her
from herself or her choices. I do see it as my responsibility to be kind,
respectful, and to share the information in a way she can hear it and use
it as she chooses.
Why is it that those of us speaking "for" something are called militant?
Why is it that when all evidence points to the validity of our concerns and
we speak up we are militant but when 'they' try to speak out 'for' their
product or procedure it is either good medicine or freedom of choice. I
get so frustrated by inequities of terminology used for various behaviors
that seem so similar but earn such different labels.
I keep thinking if we stay true, if we are honest, if we tell enough women
then eventually the ripples will flow and enough women will know, and
believe, and when that happens the voice of the angry women lied to and
denied their rights to feed their babies will be so loud it will shout down
all the money being made from the alternative. If we all keep it quiet, if
we protect them all from the knowledge, if we choose what they have a right
to know with the assumption we are protecting them, if we who know cannot
speak, or will not speak, how can expect mothers to find their voice?
Take care,
Pam MazzellaDiBosco, IBCLC, RLC
FL, USA
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