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From:
Leslie Ward <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Mon, 5 Apr 1999 10:48:21 -0400
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Hi All,
    Nicki's post really started something off. It was a great post, but
the responses have touched on the very important issue of the need for
understanding the actual cause of violence/violent personality and/or
behavior rather than going for symptoms or variables in the child's
environment which may or may not have an impact.
    I believe that breastfeeding/human milk will produce the optimal
outcome for human infants - with the understanding when problems occur
(the child gets ill, develops a disease or chronic condition, is
anti-social or violent, etc) that we must see it from the perspective
that the outcome probably would have been much worse (death, disability,
etc.) without breastfeeding/human milk.
In other words, breastfed infants/children can get sick or turn out less
than desired (either personally or socially acceptable) but that the
result without breastfeeding probably would have been worse.
    We need to be careful in rigid judgements on certain aspects of the
whole issue. I now know how vastly superior breastfeeding and human milk
are, however I used formula. Given a lack of education (is this my HCPs
fault or society for letting breastfeeding fall at least into competion
w/formula) and my personal situation, it was necessary. Now (4 children,
9 years as an LLLL, and much professional reading) I know that I could
have and probably should have done things differently. Let's concentrate
more on promoting breastfeeding positively and education (of all
involved) than criticizing the alternatives.
    On the 'wired' differently children, having one (#3) my gut reaction
is - who are we to say 'wired' differently - there must be a
purpose/reason. However, as nothing I did, changed my son, I began to
look into the 'cause.' Another area to look at is Sensory Intergration
which A. Jean Ayres, PhD has written about (Sensory Intergration and
Learning Disorders and Sensory Intergration and the Child). It was a
relief to take the blame from my shoulders and my parenting choices to
an actual physiological condition. I now (just MHO) 'blame' his
condition on the cord being wrapped around his arm and oxygen
deprivation during delivery. And the books have given us a direction to
work with him. He is also very allergic, so was this involved - quite
possibly a lot since this would have been impacting on him even in
utero.
    My (very long winded) point - is that it is never as easy as simply
human milk vs formula, attatchment parenting vs rigid scheduling or
whatever. There are just so many variables and possibilities when
dealing with humans. We need to actually find the cause of
violence/violent behvaior and then work on prevention. Because obviously
we aren't doing all that well on the cures.
   By the way, Lizzie Borden was an adult at the time of the crime and
she was acquitted of the crime - I am amazed at how she is still seen as
guilty. But then that goes into another discussion. . .

Leslie Ward
Vine Grove, KY

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