I would like to share what I learned from my doula mentor/guru Penny Simkin
about how to manage with the sleep deprivation which can often occur with
nursing babies.
Penny gave us her "Formula" (no pun intended) for how to get enough sleep.
First you ask a new mom how many hours of sleep she needed a night to feel
really well rested before she became pregnant. Then you mention that of
course, as pregnancy progressed, the mom didn't get that much with the waking she
was doing at night for a multitude of reasons, small bladder capacity,
heartburn, body aches and pains, etc. And you validate that she isn't getting it
now with the new infant waking frequently at night. So what's the mom to do?
Penny suggested that you encourage her to stay in bed in the AM, not shower,
not get up with significant other, not even brush her teeth, until the
sessions of sleep periods she does get add up to the required total number she
needed before pregnancy. Of course she will have to get up to urinate, as
hopefully she took her thermos of water or beverage to bed with her and drank it
throughout the night. But that's the extent of her activity. Easy enough to do
with the first baby. But with second or subsequent baby, more difficult and
perhaps a situation where the postpartum doula or family member can step in
to take over the morning routine until the mom has had enough sleep for that
night.
I think that this approach would normalize infant waking and give the mom
much needed rest. I look back to nursing my fourth child (23 years ago.) We
came home from the hospital and climbed into a king-size bed, and I never even
knew the number of times she awoke to be fed at night, as it was all low-key
and I drifted off back to sleep without a problem. I felt more rested
during the day when she was an infant then with my first or the twins who came
next. But since not all moms are comfortable bed-sharing with their infants,
Penny's approach just might help.
Mary-Jane Sackett, RN, BSN, IBCLC, RLC, CCE, CD(DONA)
Registered Lactation Consultant, Certified Childbirth Educator and Certified
Doula
Maternal Child Health Visiting Nurse
Pittsfield, MA
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