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Subject:
From:
Jo-Anne Elder <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Tue, 17 Dec 2002 19:30:54 -0400
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>What are we doing to ourselves, and to what ends?
>AND WHY?!  Many of us are driving ourselves slowly
>insane with our quest for...what?  Perfection?  A
>sense of control?  Meanwhile, our precious children,
>and the astounding ability our bodies have to nourish
>them, gets placed lower and lower on the priority
>list, and our lives are robbed of joy.
>
>Okay, I'm stepping off the soapbox.
>
Okay, and here I am, stepping up, Carole.

One of the reasons that I would add is self-esteem, a word I don't particularly like, or the sense of value. Women who feel undervalued, as mothers, can feel empty, and want to fill their time and their children's time with meaningful activities, to which other people and they themselves attach prestige. This is particularly true when mothers are marginalized in other ways, or when they have given up a fast-paced profession that gave them satisfaction. It is hard to slow down.

It might help these women if someone told them, 'You are doing the most important activity in the world, and only you could do it so well.' However, this works against the idea that breastfeeding is normal. Can you tell that I am conflicted on this question? LOL

I had a friend tell me, the other day, that my idea of focussing on what people needed to be happy wouldn't work, because most people didn't know. Maybe that means that our lives aren't actually robbed of joy, because we never had it in the first place. Like a good, comfortable latch, if you have not had it you don't recognize it or direct yourself towards it.

Jo-Anne Elder-Gomes, PhD, IBCLC, recovering workaholic

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