Today the nurses would not let me go
>in to talk with her because she was so upset about the "bad news".  I
>explained to the nurse that she may want to express milk even though the
>prognosis looks grim as it will be something only she can do for the baby
even
>if the baby is never able to receive it.  Of course, they look at me like
I am
>crazy and that would only make her feel worse if she has a milk supply and no
>baby.

Denise, this reminds me of the time when mothers were discouraged from
holding and honoring their still-born babies.  The idea that forgetting
this baby as soon as possible, and not allowing this mother to be "upset
about the bad news" is archaic and lacking in understanding of the grief
process.

There are a couple of posts from last year about mothers expressing milk
for babies that were sure to not live.  I will send these to you.  Your
case isn't the same, but the larger issue is.  Listening to this mother and
being present to her as she cries all of her tears, then hearing what her
heart tells her to do, is the compassionate way to support her healing.
Follow your instincts as the "empathetic and perceptive" person that you are.

Patricia Gima, IBCLC
Milwaukee
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