It is very sad that there is a custody battle for such a young baby.  It is
obvious that all custody issues should consider the age of the baby and the
hours that he can be separated from his mother - determined largely by
whether or not he is breastfeeding.
But fathers have rights too, provided that they have not abused the
mother/child.  One hour a week is just not appropriate for a father-child
relationship and can be sheer torture for the father who does not deserve
such punishment.  The best scenario in this case is that both parents live
within easy reach of each other.  Instead of the block of hours or overnight
stay that a father would normally enjoy, the periods of access would have to
be fairly short with the feasability of returning the baby to the mother
within minutes when there is the first sign of hunger.  Perhaps even sharing
a house separated by stairs or a door would make this easier, at least for
the first months when the baby is solely breastfed.
In most partnerships, mothers do go out shopping or on errands/change a book
at the library, get a haircut in the first months after the birth and the
father stays at home to look after the baby, using the mobile phone if the
baby needs feeding.
Of course this is not ideal for the mother who prefers to have the baby
attached to her constantly, but no separation of parents is ideal anyway.
Wendy Blumfield
NCT ANT Tutor/BFC
Israel Childbirth Education Centre.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Desirre Andrews CCCE, LCCE, CLD, CLE" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, May 28, 2008 3:42 PM
Subject: Re: Breastfeeding 4 week old- dad wants custody


>A friend of mine went through a nasty break up years ago (boy is now 15).
> The judge would not grant overnight visits to dad until boy had weaned at
> almost 20 months!
>
> There is hope!  Forcing a mom to pump and store or that the baby get
> formula
> when not with mom seems unreasonable.  What NOT breastfeeding gets a baby
> is
> good info but also how mom's body responds to baby, lower sids, etc. with
> baby sleeping near (Jack McKenna research).
>
> Desirre
>
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