I agree with Kathy D about setting rules for toddlers about nursing whether
they have a younger sibling competing with them for mommy's milk or not.
 People who are into nursing on demand with infants often don't realize
that the rules can change when they are toddlers. I've had several friends
who would nurse their 2-4 year olds anywhere, everywhere and anytime the
child wanted.  Not that there's anything wrong with that if the mom feels
okay about it, too.  But at the zoo, in restaurants so mom can't eat her
dinner, in church so mom can't stand to sing the hymns, everywhere? When a
mom tells me that her 3.5 year old nurses 20-30 times per day and she can
never get anything done, I wonder what other limits she will ignore setting
with this child, too.

Somewhere I read (Penelope Leach, I believe) years ago that older babies
and toddlers learning when and where they can nurse and to be able to wait
a little bit is part of the socialization process. That was helpful to me
because I seemed to be getting the message from my LLLI friends that I
shouldn't ever say no to nursing. We expect them to learn to wait to go to
the bathroom at some point, but not to wait to nurse?  Another author
called the current generation of parents the "Okay?" generation.  I think
sometimes those of us who are into attachment parenting can go too far in
this direction and ask our children's permission too often.  "Mommy needs
to go to the grocery store now, okay?"  "Mommy wants to get a drink of
water now, okay?"

-Lucy Towbin, MSW, IBCLC

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