>the partner may be having some feelings (right or
>wrong) about not being biologically connected to the baby, and it might be
>VERY IMPORTANT to her to feel that something she's made from her own body
>will be taken into the baby's body and become part of the baby.  In other
>words cells and tissue from her body will be incorporated into the baby's
>body and will become parts of the baby.  So she will then have a biological
>connection to the baby.

In Mali, women said that a father becomes connected to his baby by the
transfer of a white fluid (semen).  Likewise, a mother *becomes* connected
to her baby by the transfer of a white fluid (breast milk).  The process of
breastfeeding, and having the baby ingest milk from the mother is what makes
the two people kin to one another.  Thus, any baby that nurses from a women
is related to her, whether or not she is the baby's "biological/genetic"
mother.  This belief is known as the "milk tie" -- all children who nurse
from the same woman are related to her and to each other, regardless of
genetic parentage -- and is quite widespread in Africa and the Middle East.
I think the non-birth mother should be encouraged to induce lactation.



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Katherine A. Dettwyler, Ph.D.                         email: [log in to unmask]
Anthropology Department                               phone: (409) 845-5256
Texas A&M University                                    fax: (409) 845-4070
College Station, TX  77843-4352
http://www.prairienet.org/laleche/dettwyler.html