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Subject:
From:
"Laura Wright, LLL Leader" <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Fri, 9 Jul 2004 22:57:38 EDT
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Hi Sherry!

I have a theory about this phenomena....
Women who receive WIC are more likely to be from a population which seldom
receives positive messages or stroking.... In fact, simply by applying for and
accepting WIC, they may feel embarrased, guilty, ashamed....

When they receive positive self-esteem promoting messages about themselves
from the WIC Counselors, they become a little "dependent." They enjoy being
told  what they are doing correctly, and how sure we are that they will "Of
course"  succeed.
I personally think that they become hesitant to disappoint us....

So, they claim they are "going to" breastfeed, they feed us back all the
information we have so carefully provided them, because they really don't want
to disappoint us, or lose that positive contact.

Somewhere, however, we have failed them.

We have not discovered their true barriers, we have not helped them to
express just what it is that keeps them from ever really putting the baby to
breast.

In La Leche League we have a little saying about giving advise....
If you give advise and it works, the mother may become dependent on you,  and
call you for everything, instead of learning to research on her own, trust
her own judgment, and make her own decisions.
If you give advise and it doesn't work, the mother may become angry or
resentful. You have set yourself up to accept the blame for her failure, and she
no longer trusts your judgment.
If you give advise and she doesn't follow it, and she fails ... she may  feel
insecure in her judgment and may become dependent on you, or grow to resent
you.
If you give information and encourage a mother to form her own decision,  you
are empowering her. (Or something along these lines... I am moving and do
not have my book handy to quote it exactly)

I think we need to find a similar approach in our WIC counseling. I think  we
need to listen harder, and speak softer.... Perhaps even provide those
positive pats for information shared....
We need to find some way to really hear each mother's barriers.

When we fail in this manner, we really undo all the positive stroking we
provided during the prenatal period. Because, in effect we cut off the positive
messages when she doesn't breastfeed. In many cases we cut off the
communication  all together.

Just my recent thoughts on the situation. We also see this is  Mississippi.

Laura Wright

In a message dated 7/9/2004 11:16:18 AM Central Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

I don't  know if it's just my area or what but our WIC clients that come in
stating  they are going to "breast and bottle" feed very rarely even attempt
to
put  infants to breast let alone exclusively breastfeed. If they attempt at
all
immediately after birth they often then just keep saying "l"ll try  later"
while they are in the hospital, despite repeated offers of help.  It's very
discouraging and we don't know if  it's a ploy "to get more  from WIC" or
what's
happening. Any ideas?  We have a broad mix of  clientle  from wealthy to
homeless
and everywhere in between, all  races and religions and sexual orientation.
Sherry Weersing  RNC





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