Oh, Renee,

Please don't take this all on yourself! I had a similar experience when my dear friend's second baby was born at 33 weeks--first baby (3 yo) already had tubes in his ears, asthma, and numerous allergies (including milk AND soy) after being solely formula fed. When the premie's docs BEGGED her to at least pump (the baby was on antibiotics by day 5 for an ear infection--the youngest they'd ever seen), she adamantly refused. This was back in the days of Parlodel to dry up milk, & despite a TRIPLE dose (dangerous for her, too!), she was still engorged and leaking 1 week postpartum. It was like her body was telling her to USE it. But, she never did....That "baby" is now 17, has some mild developmental delays, asthma, allergies, etc.

There is much research out there that speculates that this kind of adamant refusal to breastfeed--or even pump--is most often a red flag of previous sexual abuse. Perhaps there is some kind of emotional trauma in your friend's past...you may never know. I still don't know what was behind my friend's decision, even now, 17 years later.

So, rather than beat yourself up about it, DO pray that her baby ends up okay, & be there with lots of hugs & support for the other stresses she's facing.

Here's a hug from me to help you get started!

Hugs,

Carol
Carol Schlef, RNc, MSW, IBCLC, LCCE

             ***********************************************

To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest)
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
All commands go to [log in to unmask]

The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html