I I guess something that is important to me is meeting the mother where she 
is and helping her to meet HER goals: not my goals.

We all have to get past the fact that not all women feel as passionately about 
breastfeeding (or many topics, really) as we do. The expression "you can lead 
a horse to water but you can't make it drink" is fitting in this situation.

As I look back, my own goals for myself as far as breastfeeding goes were my 
own: exclusive breastfeeding. I have to accept the fact that some women 
don't want that. They want "partial breastfeeding", pumping and bottle 
feeding, breastfeeding just at night,etc., We all know the drill.

We cannot change how people feel. We can educate, yes. We can step in 
when asked and try and help and/or "fix" whatever the problem is. We can 
work to make sure women have accurate information, but that's where it ends.

"Do no harm" is a good thing for all of us to remember, whether we are 
pediatricians or lay breastfeeding counselors. None of us has the right to do 
any kind of harm, and that includes pushing our views onto people who may 
not wish to accept them.

I work with new mothers every day at work and I consider myself to be 
extremely lucky to be in the position I am. Often, I have a second or third 
time mom who for whatever reason didn't breastfeed a previous baby, or tried 
and was unsuccessful. For me, it is important to take that mother where she 
is right then and there. This is the time I want to help her achieve HER goals, 
which may not be the same as mine. That's called having respect. I am 
honoring HER wishes. She may change her mind multiple times and every time, 
I have to meet her where she is and follow her: not expect her to follow me.

It is not my place to assume anything. It is my professional (as well as 
ethical) responsibility to help the mother have the experince she wants.

I guess that's what is most important to me.

I could liken the breastfeeding scenario to those cases we see on occasion  
(usually in the news) where parents want to refuse a standard treatment for a 
life threatening illness. When the parents choose a different course of action, 
the more traditional community rises up and starts in on how dangerous the 
alternative therapy is, etc. That's one group (the conservative traditional 
medical group) pushing their views on someone who may wish to think 
differently. The traditional medical community may well be right. The 
alternative treatment may well be wrong. But it is still the person's right to 
choose. Although it is a totally different situation, one can compare this 
breastmilk vs. formula debate and apply it to the example I have given above.

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