>>Why does it have to be either - or?
Our family was child-centered (was as I now have 3 young adults at 24,21 and
20
- and no one living at home).<<

Jeanette,
Your question is one that extends beyond cultural lines, and I did not deal
with this in my first post. I want to express that I recognize that there are
many other cultures that practice "child-centered" parenting and do so quite
healthily. In the anglo-saxon community of the U.S., "child-centered" usually
implies never disciplining children for fear of hurting their psyches.  The
"child-centered" parenting that I have learned of in other cultures *does*
discipline the child; for them, "child centered" means that family life tends
to revolve around activities that enrich and entertain and nurture and teach
and celebrate children.  These are two *very* different types of
"child-centered" philosophies.

The Ezzo's rail against the one I originally defined, and I agree to the
extent that I believe that all children need boundaries in their lives.
 However, I disagree quite violently with the Ezzo's conclusion that most
demand feeding families don't place appropriate boundaries on their children,
and I really disagree with their lumping everyone altogether into the same
pot. In addition, though they don't recognize their insensitivity, I disagree
with their interpretation of other "child-centered" cultures being unworthy
of emulation.  If we gave as much cherishing attention to our children in the
U.S. as occurs in many traditional Latino families, I think that our kids
would have better self-esteems and be happier in the long run.  Again, it is
viewing a 3-dimensional world with 2-dimesional glasses.

-Lisa Marasco, LLLL, IBCLC
[log in to unmask]