----- Original Message -----
From: "Nikki Lee" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, May 26, 2008 9:03 PM
Subject: [LACTNET] new approach.........will it work?


> Dear Friends:

**Hello Nikki,

> I said that her pediatrician loved her, that the advice was meant only to
> be
> helpful and was based in a lack of knowledge about lactation (my area of
> specialisation).

**Wow... very responsible answer...! ;-)

> She told me she'd think about everything, and looked forward to my next
> telephone call in 2-3 days. She also has my  telephone number, I
> encouraged  her
> to use it by asking where it was.
>
> I wonder what will happen? I feel that I was professional in my
> disagreement. I am sick of saying nothing when this happens.

**I couldn't agree with you more... This is a constant battle, a constant
cause of controversy. Just the other day, I had a mom here, picking up a
pump for her sister in law and we discussed how things were going. She
looked at me, shook her head and said: "I will tell her to call you, after
all you explained to me now. I'm very careful, because she already gets a
lot of advice and I don't want to contradict that. It may not be very good
advice sometimes, but I rather not make things more complicated." I told her
that I do realize that sometimes it is very difficult for a mom to hear yet
another different story about what is going on and what could be done about
it. Then again... not disagreeing when you know that the management is not
optimal or sometimes even downright wrong, that is not a very constructive
approach, either, because you know it will cause more problems in the long
run, problems that can easily lead to lactation failure. Nevertheless, it
can be very hard for a new mom to decided who really *knows* what s/he's
talking about and who doesn't. But I feel bound to (by?) my knowledge, that
I share in all honesty and as respectfully as I can. That can lead to
difficult situations... A few weeks ago, I had a childbed nurse on the
phone, asking for a pump. "All is going well; it's just that the nipples are
bleeding and that the baby is spitting up blood, but it's no wonder the
mother has sore nipples, as she has a light skin and nipple shields didn't
help either, so we agreed that it is best to start pumping full time instead
of feeding at breast." Sigh... swallow... count to ten: "Did you get in
touch with the lc within your organisation?" Answer: "Yes, I did, but she
also said that the mother should just set her teeth and keep a stiff upper
lip." (hope the translation is okay... MV) I couldn't sigh and swallow
again; I said: "Well, I must honestly say that this advice startles and
frightens me, because this is something a mother should never have to do.
She really needs help. As long as her nipples are bleeding, we can all say
for sure that things are simply *not* going well."
Reaction...? Nurse and lc do not feel *respected* by me... I did not even
speak to the lc, but my point is...: in all of this, the mother is not
respected by either one of them. Who will speak up for this mom...?

Warmly,

Marianne Vanderveen, Netherlands

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