Re: << Thanks for all the wonderful responses with practical advice for my friend with triplets. Unfortunately, I received bad news from the hospital a litte bit ago. Two of the triplets, baby Emma and baby Jenna passed away this evening. The third, little Zachary is having the usual problems of
prematurity, but is fairly stable right now. I can't imagine the level of
grief these poor parents have now, and frankly am just stunned myself.
Hopefully, they'll be some way I can help support them in the days to come. >>
Oh, Jen, I am so very sorry to learn of the deaths of Emma and Jenna, and I will keep Zachary and his parents in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you'll keep us posted about his condition.
I'm sure your concern and grief will be tremendously supportive as they cope with the days ahead. Eventually, you may want to share some multiples-specific resources on the topic of perinatal loss. I'd suggest checking the Center for Loss in Multiple Birth (CLIMB) at: www.climb-support.org/ There is an area for "professionals" that includes a good reading list. I'd also recommend the "bibliography," which is accessed via "About CLIMB" or via the FAQ page. Dr. Elizabeth Pector, a mother (and family physician) who experienced the neonatal death of one of her twins, has done some research and written some articles on this topic. I'm cutting and pasting citations of her articles, which include web addresses, from a ref list I did for an upcoming March of Dimes Nurse CE module re: multiple-birth families.
Pector, E.A. (2004a). Views of bereaved multiple-birth parents on life support decisions, the dying process, and discussions surrounding death. Journal of Perinatology, 24(1), 4-10.
Pector, E.A. (2004b). How bereaved multiple-birth parents cope with hospitalization, homecoming, disposition for the deceased, and attachment to survivors. Journal of Perinatology, July 22 [Epub ahead of print].
Pector, E.A. & Smith-Levitin, M. (2002). Mourning and psychological issues in multiple birth loss. Seminars in Neonatology, 7(3), 247-256.
Pector, E.A. (2002). Top 10 list of the worst comments heard by grieving parents of multiples. [Online.] Available: www.geocities.com/heartland/lake/5142/top10list.html/
Pector, E.A. (1999). Loss of both twins. [Online]. Available: www.synspectrum.com/lossofbothtwinsworld.htm
Pector, E.A. (1998). Thoughts on parenting a twinless child. [Online]. Available: www.synspectrum.com/parentingtwinless.htm
All the best... They are lucky to have a friend who recognizes their great loss.
Karen
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