Nikki wrote:
>saying 'fine' when they are asked a direct, open-ended question.  She
didn't volunteer that she was in trouble, in pain and bleeding, until
the  third time I asked.
If I hadn't been there, sitting in her living room, she  probably would have
ended up by quitting breastfeeding.
  Maybe breastfeeding question are like feeding cues,  and have to be
repeated until the best answer comes up? Maybe her pain kept her  from
hearing me?<

Oh yes! I see this a lot, and so I make a point of asking very
specific questions.
Instead of asking, *Are you getting lots of poops and pees?*
I ask, *Counting back, how many poops and how many pees has she had in
the last 24 hrs?*
Instead of asking, *How is the nursing going?*
I ask, *How do your breasts feel when she nurses? Do you feel a
tugging? How would you describe it?*

It is tricky to walk a fine line. I don't want to put words in their
mouths. I want to encourage more than *yes* or *no* answers because I
want very specific information.

I think that much of the time mothers (especially first-time mothers,)
don't know what is normal. They may not mention their cracked and
bleeding nipples because some well-meaning person has told them that
breastfeeding usually hurts at first. They may be holding their baby
at an awkward angle because they have only ever seen mothers bottle
feeding. Very few people ever see a newborn at the breast, so how are
they to know what to do?

Many peds now schedule appointments for new babies a few days after
birth. Wouldn't it be wonderful if the new mothers also saw a
Lactation Consultant at the same time as a matter of routine?

When I lived in the UK, a midwife or health visitor would visit new
mothers every day for a week or so after she was discharged from the
hospital to make sure that both mother and baby were OK. At that time,
(up to 1973,) the breastfeeding information given was, at best,
spotty, but at least the effort was made. When my DIL and my DD gave
birth, I was able to be with them for the birthing and for a week or
so afterwards. Both of them wondered how other new mothers managed
without that kind of help. So do I :(

warmly, norma

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