I don't know if you read my post. I am hardcore when it comes to
breastfeeding, babywearing and cosleeping. Many have raised the objection of
a man, a doctor packaging what mothers have always done and charging for the
book and the certification. I get that. I even somewhat agree with it. Fact
is, we live in a capitalistic society and that is how it works. Many people
say the same thing about breastfeeding help. Fact is, we shouldn't have to
pay someone to help us with breastfeeding or learn baby care or support us
in labor, but now days since it isn't passed mother-to-mother, people charge
for the knowledge and people pay for it. In a perfect world, none of that
would be necessary.
You say: " Dr. Karp's book gets great welcomes from the
people who expect long stretches of alone time from a sleeping baby. "
I do not. And I think you either misunderstand or misrepresent the
instructors who teach the course and Sherry the director of education. I am
a HB educator and even this last baby who I used the technique with DID not
sleep long stretches. It did however give some relief while he cried and
cried despite constant accesss to the breast and being worn.
you say:
"A way to quickly calm a baby who
has become disorganized and needs a bit of help to start over should not have
become a way to keep them quiet and sleeping for hours on end so they feed
less and sleep more. "
This is not the purpose of this method. He very clearly says, as do the
educators that it WILL NOT work on a HUNGRY baby. Yes, sometimes baby isn't
hungry and still wants to be on the breast for comfort. You and I have no
problems with that. A mother with bleeding,cracked nipples, who has little
to no support, isn't 100% sold out to breastfeeding, has no experience with
babies and is at the end of her rope, needs something else to do with her
baby so she can have even 1 solid hour until the next feeding so she can get
a nap or something to eat. That is what HBOTB is for, not for leaving a baby
alone for 4 hours so you can play parcheesee.
you say:
"The way he forces a baby to accept a pacifier even when the baby is
signaling no thank you bothers me. The way he teaches how to put a baby in
a swing so you don't have to hold the baby bothers me. "
Again, You rarely even get to the 5th S or sucking and I don't know if you
have seen the video but there is never a "forcing of the pacifier". I have
only had to use a finger or paci on 3 babies and those were on the fussiest
end of the scale (yes, we tried feeding first). Baby in the swing is an
OPTION for when you have to put the baby down. Sometimes you need a shower,
a meal or an hour of sleep. I have walked into people's homes where mom has
not had a shower in DAYS and is desperate for just one hour. She may already
be swaddling and holding but giving her these tools, in an order and yes,
swaddling with arms down, is sometimes the key.
you say:
"This does not seem fair to the baby...to have no ability to signal for
feeding, to
have to wait to be fed longer than he would likely choose because his hands
are swaddled tight and a pacifier is in his mouth."
Hands to mouth is not the only signal for feeding. We all know that. In
fact, none of my babies have used that signal much. Babies will wake up out
of the 5 S's and start to stir, spit out the paci (if in, which is rare) and
make noises, smack lips etc and will still signal to feed. It doesn't take
away that ability. Have you actually seen parents use it?
you say:
"I just think the best place for a baby is in a human's arms, on a human's
body, and suckling at a mother's breast at will. "
I agree. Babies who are calmed by that alone (my first 2 children) don't
need HBOTB and it isn't for them. Dads are impowered by this as well. No
more, "I don't have boobs, I can't help". It can be used by other caregivers
for moms who have to be away from their babies.
you say:
"I have no issue with short moments of swaddling for the calming as long
as the hands are freed and the baby has the freedom to wake himself up or
signal for a feeding without crying. "
What about cultures that swaddle babies for long periods of time? Many
Native American cultures use the cradle board and swaddle for long periods
of time, and there are others. This is not a new phenomenon. We think babies
want to be free, want to move about, but maybe that is not so. Maybe that is
our own cultural bias. They have been confined for nine months, they need
time to get used to their "freedom". My last baby freaked out every time his
arms and legs would move and at almost 8 months still sometimes startles badly!
And please, please, do not compare this method, Dr. Karp or anyone
associated with it to Gary Ezzo. That man has no training or education and
continues to teach methods that end breastfeeding and do damage to babies
and families and clearly his methods do not work in the long term. I have
met and seen much emotional and physical damage from his advice and methods.
They are painful and end breastfeeding. All the people I have known to use
HBOTB have continued to breastfeed.
Like I said, I DO NOT agree with Dr. Karp on everything, however, I know
that not everyone is willing to do what I do with my kids, nor will agree it
is best. Parents need HEALTHY options and this is a healthy option. If you
have not read the book and watched the video for yourself, I encourage you
to do so. You may still choose to disagree, but what you said was a
misrepresentation or missunderstanding of what is taught in the book, video
and in classes. Do you really think La Leche League International and
Attachment Parenting International would approve the video or allow him to
speak at conferences if he was advocating making babies sleep to the
detriment of breastfeeding or ignoring their cues? Or do you think they are
just not smart enough to see through him? I give LLLI and API more credit
than that.
Blessings,
Micky Jones,BS, CLE,CLD,CHBE
Mother of 3
www.mochamilk.blogspot.com
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