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Subject:
From:
Rachel Myr <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Mon, 18 Feb 2002 15:13:58 +0100
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I find that letting go as far as mothers are concerned is not hard.  The
consultant role invites it, really.  I try to communicate respect for the
mother's judgment in all contact with her, and I do assume that she wants to
BF if she has contacted me.  In hospital I tend to be more careful about
such assumptions because I am just there, part of the package, and the woman
may not have BF high up on her own agenda.
Saying something like 'let me know how it goes, whether it works out
famously, or whether you've had it up to here in another three days and
decide to move on to the next stage in your life.  I can handle either
message' seems to make it OK for them to give that message.  I shudder to
think that anyone would breastfeed their baby against their own inclination,
out of a desire to please me, and I hope I never turn out to be that kind of
clinician.  It is quite moving to get a card three months down the road
about how they've finally made a decision, and are sending a thanks for a
helper still accepting them even when they choose a different route from
what we advocate.
The flip side is, I hope the women I counsel do get the feeling that I am
with them in this for the duration, and as long as they want to keep
pursuing BF, I will be available for them.  I don't think there are many who
doubt it.
Now I wish I could transfer some 'letting go of the outcome' to my
interactions with colleagues.  It's much harder, I find, and since they are
the same colleagues, year in and year out, it is also much more tiresome
when the outcomes are just as miserable after 10 years.  Some people are
multi-resistant to educational efforts.
cheers
Rachel Myr
Kristiansand, Norway
where my old hospital is actually taking responsibility for improving the
quality of BF advice, without me badgering them, and about time too.

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