Dear Friends:
    Being a mother is being tied down in the US, for many of us.
    The elements of attachment parenting: breastfeeding, co-sleeping,
constant contact can become overwhelming and isolating if the mother and
father are the only ones doing it. Attachment parenting evolved out of
village life, where the baby was held all the time but by many people, not
only the parent. The work was shared by the community. How many of us have
had that? I didn't.
    I was denied jobs and opportunities because I was breastfeeding, and/or
because I had my  infant with me all the time. No one in my neighborhood
parented my baby the way that I did. I am deeply committed to attachment
parenting, and never wavered. But sometimes I felt overwhelmed, alone, and
even as part of a nursing mothers' network, it was not easy to find that deep
support that a family or village should provide.
    Even if a mother has a supportive network, she still has to interact with
mainstream culture.
    There are plenty of articles about how people in general assume a woman
has stopped having a working brain because she is now a nursing mother. How
many times have you heard a woman say "I'm just staying home as a mother, I
am not doing anything" in an apologetic tone of voice?
    Look at how hard we have to fight to get recognition of the obvious: that
breastfeeding in public is essential and wonderful, that women can be mothers
and citizens of full value, that mothering is as honorable a life as being a
corporate executive or a teacher. That is why I put "Mother of 2" in with my
other credentials, because I know that that has taught me as much or more
than all the initials.
    So the woman considering becoming a mother, if she has any insight at
all, is aware of the dichotomy between motherhood and our society's value of
a person. That makes the choices that should be logical extensions of
childbearing (such as long-term breastfeeding) suddenly fraught with
negatives. And we have to deal with it.
    Warmly,
Nikki Lee RN, MSN, Mother of 2, IBCLC, CIMI
craniosacral therapy practitioner; childbirth educator
Elkins Park (a suburb of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; northeastern USA)
supporting the WHO Code and the Mother Friendly Childbirth Initiative

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