Hi All,

 

Heather I really liked your recent post.  Makes a lot of sense.  How many
times I have told a mother that it is OK to pump and bottle feed and had her
sigh with relief?  I can't even begin to count anymore.  Our society has so
much 'stuff' in it that creates issues for moms both inside and outside.sad
really.  Sometimes the process of getting baby to latch and do well is just
too much for the mom and she needs a break - and that may be a permanent one
- which is just OK.  

 

Case in point - I am working with a 15 yr old mom right now.  (yes - 15yrs
old)  Her family is very supportive - baby's daddy is 100% in the picture.
She has a great milk supply.  Baby was good sized (8'1") but small mouth -
mommy has large breasts with slightly inverting nipples.  Baby can't get a
good deep latch - nipples run away from her and the areolas are too firm
even after trying RPS and getting out some milk - baby just can't get on
deep.  We tried the nipple shield - breasts are such that we can't get the
darn thing to suck in those nipples and stay on.grrrr.and when baby does
latch with the shield she gets plenty of milk, but hurts mom in the process
because she just can't get the BIG mouthful she needs.  So here is mom -
frustrated as all get out (me too, honestly) - she wants to BF but obviously
that isn't going to happen today - so what do we do?  She is happy to pump
and bottle feed for a while - she refuses to use formula - so she has 2
options.  She is choosing to pump and bot feed and thanked me for that
option!  She knows nipple confusion is an issue - but we can fix that.  She
just wants her baby to have that breast milk and knows that as baby gets
bigger and everything settles down a bit it will be OK and we'll work with
baby to get that deep latch.   So we do what we can - support the mom where
she is - let her know that we will help her in any way we can and go from
there.

 

I truly believe that when we tell someone (regardless of the situation - it
doesn't have to be about BF) you MUST do it THIS way in order to be doing it
RIGHT that we can really compromise our own credibility, we may insult the
other persons ability to make their own informed decision, and we can make
things worse for others down the road.  It is not appropriate, in my
opinion, for me to tell every mother she MUST breastfeed (or breastmilk
feed) or if she is having an issue with putting the baby to breast she
really needs to BF directly - if I do that I lose all credibility for being
able to meet the mother where she is at with NO judgments on my part.  It
isn't my body - it isn't my baby - it isn't my decision.  The only thing I
tell my clients is an absolute MUST - is FEED the Baby.  That is IT.  Pretty
much everything else is up for discussion.  Oh, and I have had moms call me
for a consult because they heard from their friend that it was OK to pump
and bottle feed if that is what you want to do.that acceptance of meeting
the mom where she is at can be priceless.

 

Take care all.warmly,

 

 

 

 


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