I can chime in here, unfortunately. My fifth baby, Tamar, turned transverse
at the very end. I got to the hospital fully dilated (don't know how that
happened since I normally have super long labors) and was whisked into the
operating room, put to sleep and cut open. Four hours later, I was handed a
clean wrapped up bundle and could not accept that she was mine. I took her
and nursed her willingly but could not get over the nagging feeling that she
was not our baby. She didn't even look like my husband, like all the rest
of my kids and certainly not like me. I finally got to the point of feeling
like I don't care whose she is, I'm keeping her. I really had no problem
bonding to her. I'm sure the fact that she was with me almost all the time
even before I could move to a 24 hour rooming in room helped. I still worry
that some stranger will approach me one day with a baby born the same day in
the same hospital with a child who looks just like my husband and claim that
Tamar is hers.
I have never felt that I gave birth to her. I didn't. I was fast asleep
and someone took her out of my stomach. And though I really don't like
giving birth and actually live in fear for 9 months every pregnancy despite
4 good natural births, I really feel ripped off. Like OK, I don't like
doing it but it is what I was supposed to do after 41 weeks of pregnancy.
The recovery was awful and I hurt in the wrong places.
As an LC I feel that having a c-section has really helped me to understand
and work with women after c-section and 3+ years later, Tamar and I are
still enjoying a wonderful nursing relationship.
Chayn in Israel, IBCLC
----- Original Message -----
From: "Teresa Pitman" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, February 15, 2008 2:38 PM
Subject: Re: Mother Feeling Baby is Hers
> My mother had her first two babies (me and my sister) in England, with
> midwives and still (she's in her late seventies) recalls those births very
> positively. She had moved to Canada before she had her third baby, and
> says she was shocked by what happened to her during the birth - the drugs,
> being strapped down on the delivery room table, etc. And when my sister
> was born, my mother says "I felt like she was a stranger" instead of the
> instant connection she'd felt with her first two babies. Perhaps not
> surprisingly, she only breastfed that baby for six weeks, even though she
> breastfed her first two for almost a year.
>
> Teresa Pitman
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