in a former post Anelies Bob writes:


Women has 18 mo daugther, nursing and planned to go on for a long time.
Daugther does sleep through the nigth, no family bed.
 Mother was pregnant and miscarried at
10 weeks. She and her partner were very upset and sad. Daugther refused
the breast. On my suggestion that maybe the taste was different she
responded that her daugther took the milk from a cup and liked it.
I
Has this little girl been told  about the loss in the family? We tend to
consider  that as babies and toddlers don't express themselves in words that
they don't understand what is happening around them. After all with this
miscarriage the parents have lost a baby but this little girl has lost a brother
or sister. We all know how sensitive toddlers are at the beginning of a
pregnancy in the mother. Little children know what is happening around them and
they need our words  to understand and come to peace with the situation. In my
experience ,breastfeeding problems are better solved when we consider the baby
as an active member in the dyad and speak to him or her,telling  him/her what we
expect ( eg :open your mouth wide...) or what the situation is  ( eg :your
mother is very upset....). Little children also tend to blame themselves when
something bad happens in a family ( death ,divorce ..) so , in my opinion even a
baby must be reassured that it is not his/her fault.

I hope these reflexions can help . I would like to know about your experiences .

Gisele  from Paris ,France