Kathleen,

Re the mother who gave up pumping so she could spend more quality time with
her infant with a cleft palate, I find it difficult to judge so harshly
without walking at least a foot in this woman's shoes.  Feeding an infant
with a cleft palate, even with a bottle, is often no easy chore. ..throw in
8-10 pumpings per day and it certainly could interfere with her relationship
with her baby.  We don't know the severity of the cleft or the mother's
support system.  She probably made the best decision for herself and her
family, but who are we to judge? I tell mothers that there is only one thing
that I consider more important than breastfeeding and that is a loving
relationship with their babies.

As for the mother of the infant who lost several pounds after birth and is
now bottlefeeding, what do we really know about her? Maybe she did contact an
LC.  Maybe she's in the small minority of women who don't make enough milk.
Maybe she worked her buns off to breastfeed and it didn't work.  This
disappointment and sense of failure may be overwhelming to her. In any case,
she needs our compassion and support.  I feel our job is to promote and
support breastfeeding in any way that we can, but not to judge those whose
life circumstances may not be the same as ours.  I know that women breastfeed
against unbelievable odds...I work with them every day.
We don't all bring the same inner or outer resources to the party, though. I
think we need to keep this in mind as we provide support.

Kathy Boggs, RN, IBCLC

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