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From:
Ros Escott <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Thu, 8 May 1997 20:16:26 +0000
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I had a experience similar to the mother with the twins several times
when my baby was young. I would "wake" in the night terrified I had
forgotten he was in my bed and had smothered him, or lost him somehow
in my bed. The feeling passed quite quickly as I woke up properly
and could ascertain that he was safe, but was vey scary.

The amount of love I felt for my baby was enormous and unexpected.
Nothing had prepared me for the intensity of feeling. There was
absolutely no question that I would lay down my life for him.  I did
not know I was capable of so much love. I was also aware of his
total, absolute dependency on me and a huge feeling of
responsibility. All this was overwhelming and frightening at times,
and I believe led to these nocturnal experiences when combined with
disturbed sleep.  I put them down to my love and concern as a mother.

With twins, I would expect the extra fatigue, and having to mentally
track two babies instead of one, would probably amplify this
situation.  Love is not finite and halved with twins, it is probably
doubled. She must love them a lot to have such intensity of feeling
and concern.

As an aside, I have wondered if these same feelings are so
frightening to some mothers that they seek to distance themslves and
reduce the dependency by bottlefeeding.  For me it was a major
highlight of my life, but for others feelings like this could be very
scary.

Ros Escott BAppSc IBCLC
Tasmania, Australia

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