I have seen a fair number of women choose to breastfeed their babies and
then switch to bottle feeding after a few weeks. The common denominator, I
always felt, was a spurious reason to wean prematurely, but the underlying
factor was that the mothers felt *obliged* to breastfeed. (I am not talking
about those who ran into problems and were not able to receive adequate
help.)

I am not sure how I feel about this.

On the one hand, I am awfully glad that these babies received the benefits
of colostrum as well as at least some of the mature milk. On the other hand,
I worry about the effect of being breastfed by mothers who did it out of a
sense of duty. Imagine being fed by a mother whose expression is grim, one
who cannot wait until she can *justifiably* stop. A typical example is the
mother who weaned her first child because she caught a cold and didn't want
to pass it on, despite being assured by her doctor that the best thing would
be to continue nursing. After her second child was born, you could actually
hear her talking about how she would nurse till she caught her first cold!
The sad thing was that even when she switched to bottle feeding ABM, she did
not seem to bond more closely with her babies.

I have seen this scenario played out many times, the most bizarre being the
mother who chose to switch because of wanting to go in a vacation alone with
hubby - his  *reward* to her for having a baby! I must confess that while I
am always non-judgemental and accepting of the mother's decision, I truly do
not understand this mindset. I have to keep repeating to myself, like a
mantra, *This is not MY baby! This is HER baby!*

And it doesn't end with infancy. Limited mothering can extend throughout
childhood. I was just talking to the coordinator of the religious school
where I will be teaching first grade this year. We were discussing ways to
welcome parents into the classroom, and she mentioned that one of my
students would be brought by the nanny :(

Sometimes, I just wonder :(

Norma Ritter, IBCLC
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