My face is dragging on the floor tonight, after having to gently inform
another mom with PCOS that her incredibly voloptuous breasts may not be
enough to nourish her tiny new baby.  After going through years of
infertility treatments and miscarriages, she now has her precious baby in
her arms and I get to rain on her parade by telling her that one more body
system is not functioning as it should.

I guess I didn't realize that my dream job would sometimes include being the
bearer of such bad news.  Maybe I thought that privilege was reserved for
M.D.'s.  My years of LLL leadership taught me to be an empathetic listener,
but as a Leader I was not the person who tells a new mom the words she will
hear ringing in her head over and over.  As a Leader I helped the mom sort
out what she had been told by someone else so she could decide the best plan
of action.  As the person who reveals the bad news, no matter how gently and
diplomatically I put it, I feel like I instantly become the bad guy in that
mom's eyes.  Then the mom is less willing to allow me to help her make an
educated decision, as if I suddenly don't have her best interests in mind.

I've reread some sources of information on the topic and my suggested plan
of care was absolutely flawless.  I replayed the consultation to see if
there was anything I could have said or done differently, and nothing comes
up; I was positive and encouraging without being unrealistic.  I guess that
since the mom wasn't able to walk out of the room with a smile on her face
and a milk-drunk baby, I feel like I could do better, like I let the mom
down.  Not only that, I feel like it's my fault that she won't have a normal
breastfeeding relationship with this precious baby.

Is it inappropriate for me to think I can reveal unwelcome news, and still
not ever become the bad guy?  Or is it just new mommy hormones and should I
give the mom some space to find her bearings again?  I don't want the mom to
mistake my willingness to help for pressure, but I don't want her to think
I'm abandoning her either.

I would greatly appreciate any words of wisdom any of you veteran LC's have
on this topic.

Hitting the M&M stash heavily tonight,

Debbie Gillespie, rookie IBCLC, LLLL

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