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Subject:
From:
Jody Frisby <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Thu, 2 Nov 1995 09:42:57 -0500
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Dear Kathleen and Lactnet readers,

As the mother (with a questionable micrognathia diagnosis) who recently
posted on Lactnet I would like to follow up on the recent post emphasizing
that the original purpose of LACTNET is to provide a forum not for mothers
but for professionals and "( other interested parties)".
 I respect your policy and apologize for my misuse of the forum, but, can
you exclude mothers from the category of other interested parties?


I have lurked on Lactnet for 5 weeks and have benefited _emmensely_ . The
discussions have encouraged me to continue my efforts at trying to get my
baby to accept the breast.
 I have struggled for 8 weeks and faced alot of ignorance and "advice" from
family, friends and MANY local professionals-- All of them say, " It's
hopeless, you're obsessing. Go to bottlefeeding --simplify your life"

My lc and husband have been my only support.(and BTW she did not refer me to
LACTNET. She mentioned LACTNET discussion of re-birthing baths. I followed
up and subscribed.)
 This LACTNET community is a neighborhood where everybody believes in the
superiority of breastfeeding and that most problems, even really hard cases
like mine I hope ;-) can be overcome with perserverance _and_ the right
technique.


Four times I have seen a post that deals with my particular issues of
sucking problems, sustained pumping over long periods and epidural
effects...and I have e-mailed individuals with questions. Everyone has been
kind and informative. And I want to publically thank those  who reached out
to me with answers ...and...
 apologize if I have overstepped the bounds and annoyed anyone.

 I am a mother and not a lll leader or lc, but, I am working with a
breastfeeding problem that is a real hard case, just like all of you face on
occasion and discuss on LACTNET.

I came forward because my ped decreed breastfeeding would be impossible til
6 months of age because of micrognathia. He cavalierly told me I could keep
trying for the next four months if I want. He said, "if" I still have milk
by then, I can breast feed til he's three years old "to catch up".
 I question this diagnosis but, he was unwilling to refer me for a second
opinion at this appt on Oct. 30. He said I was frustrating myself and my
baby. I have doubts that this baby has a recessed jaw to the extent that
breastfeeding is impossible. My baby has latched on and sucked 6 times, that
tells me and my lc that it is possible ...
I posted to Lactnet for collective information feedback on micrognathia
citing my situation as the case study. I told my lc that I intended to do
so. By no means did I expect anyone to *treat* my case in a cyberspace office.

I now understand that my LLL leader or my lc should have posted for me. I
can not as a mother post for myself. As I crawl back into the woodwork, I
feel chagrined and segregated.

My situation is particularly stressful because I can not find a support group.
 I am a complete misfit--
I want to breastfeed so bottlefeeding advocates are defensive.
I can't succeed at breastfeed after 8 wks of effort so, I am not a nursing mom.
I can't identify _ why _ my son won't successfully breastfeed so, I keep
trying but, keep failing and family/friends look at me with curiosity and
pity like a circus freak!

I need some answers. If this case is hopeless only then, will I go to the
bottle knowing that I tried every single possible strategy. I don't want to
give up with a feeling of failure.
My research during pregnancy made breastfeeding sound like a choice. But I
am being denied my choice for unidentified reasons.`

LACTNET was the last place to come for help.

 I never intended to misuse this professional forum.

For me,  LACTNET has been a chorus of wise voices in a treacherous
"anti-breastfeeding/lovers of bottles & formula" society.

In the wee hours when so often disappointment and discouragement seem
overwhelming, I have logged on to LACTNET to commune with hundreds of people
worldwide struggling with clients just like me to overcome breastfeeding
problems. And I have been strengthened.

I really admire all of you !

Best Wishes,
jody frisby

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