I don't think *we* need to be apologetic about our ethics... Those who
are already contributing always seem to feel badly that they can't do more.

Whatever you actually say to mothers, Winnie, I am sure most take home
what is essential. Some may not be able to hear the exact information
that you give because they are listening for something else (permission
to wean, or something so eccentric -- e.g. the baby isn't trying to
manipulate them -- that they can give themselves permission to not do
something as crazy as breastfeed).

However, the majority of mothers take away a feeling or an attitude
rather than information. Your warmth, respect and caring will be what
all of those mothers remember. It is what will give them the interest
and the motivation to keep on breastfeeding when they hit an obstacle,
and to seek out help because they haven't been made to feel it is silly
to ask.

Compromise is not really the lower road. You have made your decision for
the right reasons... putting family first. Many of us are unable to live
out our dreams the way we would like because we do the same thing. It's
important not to stop dreaming, though.

I stay on Lactnet even though I may never, ever work as a professional
LC. I think I am like I was at those LLL meetings I went to when my
babies were being supplemented, and I thought I'd never be able to fully
breastfeed. I didn't even go to find a solution to my problems, as much
as to be able to say how sad I was. I stayed on there and stay on
Lactnet because it is heartening to read the words of other women who
care as much as I do about mothers and babies. I hope you will choose to
stay, too.

Jo-Anne Elder-Gomes, non-practising IBCLC

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