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Subject:
From:
Marianne Vanderveen-Kolkena <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Tue, 25 Mar 2008 00:29:40 +0100
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----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Kay G" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, March 24, 2008 5:29 PM
Subject: [LACTNET] contacting all other HCPs

**Hello Kay and Susan (and others),

I do agree that the only thing you can directly influence is your own 
behaviour. And what I also agree on, is that polarisation is not getting us 
nearer to our goal.
Nevertheless, I find it very hard to come across so many HCP's who are not 
putting mother-infant-dyads in the center of their approach.
Bf mothers early pp are a vulnerable group, not because they are women, but 
because *all* mammals are vulnerable early pp, due to hormonal fluctuations 
and also because they are protective of their young. Just the other day, we 
watched a dvd called 'Planet Earth', about how predators always look for the 
young animals and for those trying to protect them so dearly that they get 
separated from the herd. Exactly that is what happens to many new mothers: 
they don't want to get into an argument with their HCP, because they need 
the care, because they cannot afford the high cortisol levels that come with 
arguing, because they are too tired to lose energy on someone other than 
their baby. They want to breastfeed and enjoy it. So, that is where we come 
in: it is not my main goal to remain friends with other HCP's, as nice as it 
may be to achieve that. It is *my* main goal to have a mom achieve *her* 
goals. If that means I have to advocate a standpoint not really loved by 
others... so be it. I'm always willing to explain why I think and act the 
way I do and it would definitely be a good thing if 'malpracticing' HCP's 
would do the same. Good health care means keeping up with latest insights, 
means implementing best practice, means realising that you as a HCP are 
*hired* by the patient/client. You are there for *them*, they are not there 
for you to keep your facility/company/institution going.
I'm (in)famous for always putting mom and baby first. I annoy people by 
doing that. The mere fact of analysing a case from the mother's point of 
view already has that effect. Giving words, giving a voice to what a mom is 
not able to say, overwhelmed as she is by everything that happens with 
having a baby, could give others the impression of 'HCP-blaming going on'. I 
often hear: "We don't get complaints from mothers, so what you are saying, 
must be an exaggeration to say the least, but probably isn't even true." How 
come, mothers tell me what they don't tell their HCP...? That ought to be 
food for thought...
Of course we are all responsible for not calling names, for politely stating 
what we want to say, for being respectful. At the end of the day, though, 
respect is not about being friends with co-workers in health care, whether 
lc's or nurses or ob/gyns or whatever. Respect is about rendering good 
quality care to those who need it. If we would all do that (and many moms 
experience a severe lack of it), the whole issue at hand would not exist... 
Teamwork is primarily about being a considerate, attentive team with mom and 
baby. Until then, I'll proudly wear my label: "always puts the mom first". 
;o)

Warmly,

Marianne Vanderveen, Netherlands (despite all the above working on being as 
effective as possible by improving own skills and exercising to be more 
patient, because she loves what the buddhists say: "Be grateful for 
difficult people around you, because they offer superb possibilities to 
increase your patience!")

             ***********************************************

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