I know Rachel and Kathy won't mind if I post a little something here.
Bobby is three years old today. For anyone not knowing the story behind
us, and why this is such a big deal, here's my web site
http://home.earthlink.net/~chester2001 Go to "index of documents" and
click on Leaven, April/May 2003. That is the story of how we had to
bioengineer my breastmilk to make fat free milk after Bobby developed a
complication after open heart surgery.
Anyway, Bobby is doing fantastic. He is eating totally orally as of this
week, after three years of being tube dependent. He is delayed, but after
knowing what we have been through, who cares! Last year, when I posted
about how grief stricken I was in regard to him refusing (or being unable)
to nurse, he was not yet walking, was totally tube dependent, and had just
learned to drink from a straw. Breastmilk was still the only thing he
would take orally. Here we are a year later, and he is eating me out of
house and home...tacos, nuts, ice cream, carrots...he had a very varied
appetite and incredible oral skills. He is also running around the beach
now, lugging pails of water and sand around, which is imporving his
balance and strength by the day.
Anyway, this is the same boy who was on a continuous drip of skim
breastmilk two years ago, who couldn't roll over at the age of one, and
who gagged and choked on a drip of water at the age of two. We still have
one more surgery to go, but the doctors have said that he is doing so
well, we'll hold off until he is bigger and until he might show
indications that he needs it. I'm in no rush.
I am still able to pump about 10 to 15 ounces/day, which I think is fine
for a three year old, knowing full well that most children at that age are
weaned at this point. That is if they were fortunate enough to have been
among the minority that even make it that far. Bobby will latch on when I
ask him, but something really interesting happened on my part about 6
months ago. I was still working on trying to entice him to nurse, using a
reward system if he latched...a page of a book or something else he liked,
but all of the sudden, when we were oh, so close, it didn't matter to me
anymore. He was doing it totally for me, and though we as lactation
advocates spend our days convincing mothers that babies' needs motivate
the nursing relationship, not the mother's own selfish wants, it dawned on
me that my own son was totally OK with never nursing. That I was the one
who really wanted it, even to the point where he would latch on, and gag,
just to get the reward of a story. It remended me of when I tried to
bribe one of my youngest daughters to sleep in her own bed, (after the new
arrival needed to nurse all night), and through sobbing tears she would
tell me that she really wanted to sleep with me, but could she please have
the toy reward anwyay. (Obviously, we let herback in the bed.)
So now I let Bobby latch for the fun of it, whenever the mood strikes
either of us, but I am perfectly content knowing that he is still
receiving the full benefit of breastmilk without the actual act of nursing.
Karleen, I feel like I let you down, I wanted so much to be a success
story of how I taught this two or three year old to nurse, and I guess I
did, really, but it just doesn't seem like it is as important to us
anymore. Sure, there are days I'd like to run over this pump with a
truck, but more importantly, anything I have ever strived for in a nursing
relationship...a secure, firmly attached, healthy, loving baby... I have
gotten despite not being able to nurse.
Thanks for all of your support and well wishes. I hope to see you all at
an international LLL conference one of these days. If there is anyone
here who wants to be on an update list for Bobby, I send one out about
every three months or so, please email me and I will gladly add you to the
group.
Hugs to you all,
Trish and Bobby, three years old today
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