From the article about Babywise site posted by Elizabeth:
"They also have a section in the book about sign language which we taught
our daughter by 12 months. At that age they still don't have the verbal
skills but know what they want. What a wonderful way to stay away from
whining and teach manners (please and thank you)."
That just makes my blood run cold! "Teaching" a child "sign language",
instead of just allowing the natural, loving talk that flows so freely
between a nsg mother and child to develop in its natural course??
"Teaching manners"?!? How is a baby supposed to learn "good manners", the
essence of which is consideration for others, when its parents don't show
the poor little thing enough respect to meet its needs for cuddling,
feeding, snuggling, sucking, nurturing?!?
I used to think that my kids were just born with excellent manners, that I
had just gotten extraordinarily lucky in the baby department. Now, after all
these years of observing how many people parent, I can see that one of the
reasons they were polite, considerate kids is that I tried to respond to
their needs by respecting them and treating them the way I would want to be
treated. Which does NOT include "putting them on a schedule" from their
earliest infancy. How the heck would you expect anyone to grow up
considerate and caring if one of the first messages you received as an
infant was that you couldn't trust the people resposible for your care to do
whatever they could to meet your most basic, elementary needs? Seems to me
that all they'd learn was that the world was a cold and unresponsive place -
that would make them crabby and selfish, not open and generous or even
"polite".
RAnt, rant...I promise not to drag out another Ezzo discussion, but I just
had to respond to some of the parents quoted on the site.
Cathy Bargar, RN< IBCLC Ithaca NY (and oh-so-modestly NOT pointing out that
all of my kids were able to make their wants known long before 12 months!
It's a lot easier for them to learn and you to understand when you actually
listen and talk with them freely, not in rationed little bits of "scheduled"
time!)
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