Good points re feelings of depression, Sarah. I hope others will weigh in. Sandra, is this mother currently receiving support? (I assume she was receiving support while working through PPD.)
As for the issue of a 10 month old weaning:
While it is "common" it is not "normal" for a child to nurse 4x/24 hours
or to "self wean" at 10 months. Typically children nurse 10-12+ times
for the first 2 years. There is little literature for reference but
Kathleen Buckley's "Long-Term Breastfeeding: Nourishment or Nurturance?"
may be of interest to the mom.
http://jhl.sagepub.com/content/17/4/304.abstract
I have worked with moms who find that a combination of work hours,
household sleep patterns, & toddler personalities come together in a
child treating breastfeeding as simply refueling. Mother who hope to
comfort at the breast can be heartbroken to wake up one day and realize
that the child has learned to expect milk from the breast, and little
more. Separation for work, pumping, and busy-ness are all facts of
modern life & individual children react differently to some of the
same patterns. Sometimes issues are hidden -- partners, past sexual
abuse, etc. -- while we are focusing on the first issues we are shown.
Individual mothers react differently as well. Why do some nursing
couples continue for years, in spite of early and full-time separation
for work, and others flounder before the first birthday? I find it
helpful to throw out information & suggestions for the mother to
ponder on her own -- some things she may not wish to share with me, some
things will not hit her until she has thought about them with
perspective.
2 thoughts:
1) Think like the child. Baby is busy all day. Daycare is bright &
peopled & distracting. Toys, crawling, cruising, table foods!!!
Mommy is "gone" all day. Baby still has a biological urge to suckle, to
seek milk, to touch mommy. If mom is open to making up for lost time
at night, baby may well nurse & cuddle before dinner, nurse skin to
skin all night, make up for lost time on days off. It doesn't matter so
much to baby or to weaning when the nursing happens, just if & how
it happens! So...
2) Think like a nursing strike. If mom is topless, available, skin to
skin, relaxed during quiet times, baby will find her hard to resist.
Shared bath & bed. Putting the baby in a position to discover &
request the breast are always better than foisting breastfeeding on the
baby. Baby might not respond right away or consistently but a 10 month
old wants her mom and wants to breastfeed. Another great idea is take
baby out with other breastfeeding babies -- friends, playgroup, LLL. It
is so hard to resist breastfeeding when that's all there is to do or if
everyone else is doing it!
Kudos to the mom for questioning whether her daughter's behavior is
normal and/or a sign of weaning. I believe she can woo her baby back to
a richer life at the breast, if that is what she wants.
As for our language, I suggest we talk about weaning rather than using
loaded terms like "self weaning." This term confuses moms since it
carries predictions & judgment when we're really all learning
together -- all the moms, all the kids, all the bf helpers. Children
wean, mothers wean, there are so many factors and individual
experiences. I think it helps the next mother keep an open mind to her
own child and her own feelings if she doesn't see doors shutting before
they do.
Regarding weaning and depression, I think it is under-discussed but
many mothers express sadness/blues/depression around
weaning. I wonder if this is similar to the experiences of women with
negative birth experiences -- mothers feel shushed when they try to
express their feelings. I wonder too if a lot of the mommy wars online
re breastfeeding & weaning have to do with the negative feelings or
lack of fulfillment women feel surrounding their personal breastfeeding
experiences. Not that there is a right or wrong way to breastfeed/wean, but that mothers may not have adequate outlet for their feelings and individual experiences. A lot of moms are not getting the breastfeeding experiences they want.
Since I have been inactive recently, I should point out that normal
nursing patterns and support for full-term/longterm breastfeeding have
been my focus for the past 19 years.
Susan Johnson MFA, IBCLC
Salt Lake City, Utah USA
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 29 Feb 2012 18:24:39 +0000
From: Sarah Vaughan <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: depression from weaning
On 29/02/2012 18:10, Sandra Jean Taylor wrote:
>
Posting with permission; I have a friend that suffered from severe
PPD. Now that her daughter is 10 1/2 months old she is coming out of
her PPD fog, but is having anxiety and fear of returning to her previous
state because of natural weaning tendencies.
What is her reason for feeling this way? Is it sadness at the thought
of losing a relationship that means a lot to her, or is it concern over
what she's read over weaning triggering depression, or what?
>
Her daughter is only nursing 4x/day or so because the mother works
full-time and provides milk for daycare. If the mother sees her
daughter midday at daycare the daughter is not interested in nursing,
but rather "hanging out" and playing. The mother is fearful this
behavior is early signs of weaning. I have assured her it is not and is
a normal progression. The mother states she is sad that her daughter
does not want to nurse at lunch time. I do not want to see her spiral
back into depression as she has fought so hard to feel better.
>
> Firstly, does anyone have any experience with or know of any research about depression from weaning?
My understanding (somewhat out of date) is that the evidence on this is
scanty - weaning is known to be associated with changes in hormonal
level that theoretically *might* be associated with triggering
depression, but there's no hard evidence that it does so. Any research
articles anyone's seen showing a definitive link (or lack thereof) would
be interesting.
> Secondly, how would you reassure this mother that this is normal behavior?
>
Both Kellymom and the author of 'Mothering Your Nursing Toddler' state
that children go through a period around 9 - 15 months of age where they
tend to lose interest in nursing as there's so much other interesting
stuff going on. They recommend offering the breast regularly as a way
of stopping children from self-weaning at this age.
Best wishes,
Sarah Vaughan
***********************************************
Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]
Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask]
COMMANDS:
1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail
2. To start it again: set lactnet mail
3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome
|
