Sara,

The baby you describe sounds a lot like my second baby.  You mentioned that
the mother said it seemed like her milk was coming out forcefully -- have you
tried some of the suggestions for overactive let down?

If that is the problem, the mother may need to try the suggestions
religiously:  express some of the foremilk after the initial letdown into a
cloth diaper or blanket, nurse side-lying or put a pillow under he baby to
elevate her, take the "finish the first breast first" suggestion to new
heights--  what works for many mothers is to strictly use one breast for each
feeding, say use the left one for four hours (letting baby nurse as often as
she wants) then the right.

It's also possible that the baby may have multiple challenges going on.  You
mentioned maybe an unusually strong gag reflex, possible dairy allergies, etc.

You didn't mention but I assume that the baby has been evaluated by a health
care provider for any physical problems, such as reflux, an ear infection, or
UTI.  Sometimes these can contribute to symptoms like those you mentioned.

Just some thoughts.  Good Luck!

Anne Boyd
Birmingham, AL