I am a hospital based IBCLC in NY and have lurked on lactnet for a long time. Now I am in need of advice for a patient who attends my breasfeeding support group.  She is exclusively breastfeeding her four month old infant. Baby does not take a bottle (refuses at this point). Here's the problem: the baby's father (patient's husband) walked out on the patient when she was about 2 months pregnant. At that time the patient was living in Virginia with her husband and pre-school aged daughter from a previous marriage. When she realized that her husband was not coming back, she returned to NY to her parents' home. She was devestated and went through the rest of her pregnancy and the birth of her new baby with no word whatsoever from her husband. Never even knew why he left her. Well, two months ago he got back in the picture and now wants custody of the baby! He filed for divorce in Virginia and the judge assigned to the case has mandated that this man be given visitation every other weekend (for the entire weekend, overnight visits). The patient allowed the baby to go for a full day visit with her husband and his mother leaving a good supply of expressed breast milk. Baby refused the bottle and came home to the mother distressed and starving. The grandmother tried to feed the baby formula, despite the fact that there was breastmilk for the baby. Now this mother is being threatened by the opposing lawyer that she will be charged with neglect if she doesn't allow supplementation or overnight visits. Since the divorce was filed in Virginia all of the court dates are in that state and the judge wants the baby to be brought to Virginia every other visit. The baby was born in New York State and resides here.  The baby's pediatrician is completely supportive of breastfeeding and has written letters stating that this baby should get nothing but breastmilk for 6 months. Does anyone know what this mother's rights are? I have suggested to the mother that this baby is part of a nursing dyad and cannot be sepatated from her mother for more than four hours let alone an entire weekend. The court, however, does not see it that way and seems completely in support of this father's "rights" to have unsupervised weekend visits with this baby. I know this is a long post, and I apologize for that, but I am burning up with indignation that this mother has had to endure such heartache and is now plunged into a new nightmare of fighting for her right to continue to breastfeed her baby. She has already switched lawyers when her first one suggested that she just hand over the baby. Her resources are limited however, and she has taken out loans to hire a new lawyer. Help! 
Thanks in advance for any who can offer suggestions. 
Christine Foley RN, BSN, IBCLC

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