Katherine,
When I wrote about women spending the day in bed I was refering to what you wrote on September 16th:

"When my "O" friends are pregnant, they do whatever they can to make it through the fast.  That's NUMBER ONE priority.  Most of them will stay in bed almost the entire time."

Are your friends doing the impossible or have they worked out a way to stay in bed even with other children to care for.  (if your "O" friends are like my "O" friends, they probably have several children at home.)  In this case, as in all cases where we help mothers find ways to conserve their energy, get more rest... we have to be aware of what help and support they have available to them.  Perhaps they don't need to stay in bed all day.  Each woman is an individual.  But again if we are not open to her individuality, her values, ideals, priorities, situation in life....we won't be able to help her at all.  That was my point, but I thank Toby for summing it up beautifully in brilliant letter.

If I wasn't open and respectful to values not only different than mine but that sometimes seem completely absurd to me, I wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes at my job.  As it is, by accepting every woman where she is at and working with her in her frame of reference I'm had a lot of positive impact.

Sincerely,
Chayn Fogelman
Israel

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