Fio wrote:
<< The secretary for the place my husband works had this problem. She
called the LLL and waited 2 weeks to get a call back...by which time
she'd weaned her daughter. She had sore nipples and was sure she
"wasn't making enough milk". :-(>>
The original post was about a nurse who wouldn't refer to LLL and
specifically steered people away. (Maybe a lawyer can tell me if "tortiary
interference with trade" applies to a volunteer organization? ) Oddly, some
of the responses were from people justifying why the nurse might have such an
opinion, based upon the possibility that she might have had a negative
experience with a Leader or group. Now, I have known quite a few nurses and
doctors who have done a horrible job w/ bf'ing moms. I know docs who only
have office staff return phone calls, so moms never get to ask a direct
question. It goes on and on. Yet, it never occured to me to tell all moms
never to ask any doctor or nurse any bf'ing question.
One of the things that bothers me is the idea that we, as Leaders need to
spend our time currying the favor of those who deem us fanatical. The
responses that troubled me the most were those suggesting that somehow the
Leader needed to "make nice" with the nurse and correct her
misunderstandings. Hmmm....
When I first began to put in place a hospital-based LLL Peer Counseling
Program almost 9 years ago, I was asked by a wonderful ped not to use the LLL
name, b/c LLL was so disliked in the hospital. I refused and she supported me
anyway. (She also admitted that there was little validity to the attitude,
although there were certain instances where I could see why a certain HCP in
a certain situation would be upset with a certainl Leader). Believe me, the
attitude was fierce and hard to take a lot of the time. But, I never made
apologies for LLL to anyone and never acted as if I had to get them to like
LLL. We just did a really good job and most of the nurses and ped's (OB was
truly another story) loved our program and our staff. So did the moms. After
5 years (the first planning stage only), there were still some nurses who had
their attitude about LLL. The attitude had been based upon myth or their own
bf experiences (or lack-thereof) when I began the program and it was based
upon a desire to hold onto their beliefs when I left.
I do think dialogue is critical, but I do not believe Leaders need to
behave as if we are the out of line children who need to regain the approval
of the grown up HCP's. Others cannot hold opinions of us that we do not
ultimately hold of ourselves. I truly do not see LLL as radical and I think
that one of the reasons we are seen that way is that we take a little pride
(as an organization) in that label and hold onto it ourselves. It isn't
radical or fanatical to breastfeed babies or children or co-sleep or attach
to our childen!!! It's normal. Just plain normal.
Part of the problem for LLL, I think, is that when bf'ing wasn't very
important in our society, we were truly still the experts. Now that bf'ing
(actually, it really is only breastmilk so far) is important, lots of people
want to be the expert. And the level of what is required to be the expert has
changed, as well. I personally think the role of Leaders is shifting and I
think that will be a good thing. In the end, no matter how much information
and even loving support a professional can provide, mother-to-mother support
can never be replaced.
Foi also wrote:
<<Now that she knows my husband, and has met me, she knows she could call
me if she needed help (on a subsequent baby), though I don't know if she
WOULD if push came to shove...but it's too late to even suggest that
now, as her daughter is 16 months like mine, and hasn't nursed since she
was about 6 weeks old. >>
Many times I have met moms who say they tried to get help with bf'ing, but
gave up due to misinformation, not getting a return call, whatever... and
then after talking with me, decided that "if only they had known me then,
they would have been successful". This is a very seductive idea for those of
us who would have been the saviour. It is certainly true that bad information
can so destroy a mother's efforts that she will not bf. Or that she will get
bad information from someone she believes "ought to know what she is talking
about" and so believe that she really couldn't bf, even with help. There are
LLL Leaders who are not competant to help mothers. There are LC's and doctors
and nurses and RD's and nutritionists who aren't competent to help mothers.
And, yet, they all put in their opinions (often as fact) and make the world
of lactation difficult for everyone. It is not terribly likely, as lovely as
it sounds, that a whole slew of moms would have bf if only they had known me,
or you or anyone else in particular. My own SIL knew me very well and managed
to only bf for a few weeks. Frankly, I don't think mothers should have to be
highly motivated to bf successfully--we should be working on establishing a
bf culture in which any woman can help any other woman bf. But until then,
sometimes there is high success in spite of low motivation and low success in
spite of high motivation. But most of the time, when there is high
motivation, there is high success and when there is low motivation, there is
low success.
Jennifer Tow, IBCLC, CT, USA
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