Kika asks about whether the child's gender plays a role in how long it is
breastfed.  I don't think there is a universal answer, and I don't think
much work has been done on it.

Coincidentally, at my BF support group meeting this week, the subject of
sons' memories of/attitudes to our breasts, came up.  Very limited sample,
and not representative of the general population, but our sons have been
very fond of our breasts, long after weaning.  Most of these sons are still
under 7 years old, except mine.  This fondness has taken the form of wanting
to snuggle up to us with face at breasts, or just hold them or squeeze them,
and the children are entirely unembarrassed about it.  In particular they
have not been at all interested in suckling or licking nipples, or even
kissing or touching them - it seems to be the pillow aspect they value
most - like burying their cheeks in cleavage and saying 'mmmmmm', or just
patting them, like you would a favorite pet on seeing it again after an
absence.  There is nothing at all lascivious about it.  Based on a very,
very small subsample in this group (my son who is now 16) it seems the
behavior stops on its own, well before teenagedness kicks in full force,
though he is still a hugger and both his parents receive their shares of
cuddles.  Shows of physical affection by fathers, for sons and daughters,
are more commonly seen here than in the US.  Grown men do not usually
embrace one another and we don't do the continental 1-3 pecks on alternate
cheeks on meeting.  (This is why we take holidays in, say, the Netherlands!)

It sounds as if the mother in this case has her own ambivalence to work on.
It may help her to hear that other boys have not shown a fixation with the
heterosexually erotic potential of breasts even after breastfeeding for 1-5
years.  They don't seem aware of it, actually.  These boys are all
Norwegian, and the pornography here is essentially identical to what is in
N. America as far as I know, so the sexualization of the female breast is
not any different, but pre-schoolers haven't yet incorporated it into their
world view.  Another thing that may be different here is our societal
nonchalance at seeing breasts publicly, in connection with BF, sunbathing,
and topless food servers or ads for porn.  Nipples have absolutely no shock
value here unless maybe they are pierced, and it would have to be with
something exceptional.

BTW, the group members reported the same kind of behavior in daughters
post-weaning.
Rachel Myr
Kristiansand, Norway

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