Dear Friends--

In our society, working isn't just about making money. It is also about
self-concept.

A well-heeled new mom may go back to the office because she thinks her
mind and self-concept will rot if she stays home.

Many of us who followed the LLL Leadership route to becoming Lactation
Consultants got involved in La Leche League as much because it gave us
an intellectual framework for thinking about motherhood more than
because we needed breastfeeding support.  I, for one, would have been
back in the office after 1-2 years if I hadn't found an outlet for my
mind that also supported me in my role of stay-at-home mother.

In the last 14 1/2 years, I have written countless articles, lead
countless meetings, taught countless classes, spend countless hours on
the phone, all while being a "stay-at-home" mom to my 3 children. I
consider myself incredibly fortunate to have found something that
supported me emotionally and stimulated me intellectually wh8ile I was
at home and to have the financial security to spend 10-15 hours a week
working mostly for free. In our society, an outlet for an at-home
mother's intellectual energy is far rarer than financial security. But
women can't stay home for years on end unless they have both.

I agree with Prof. Dettwyler that the problem is making our society one
in which EVERY mother can breastfeed and where every office is
breastfeeding friendly.

There are many reasons women "can't" stay home.  Finances are an
accetable excuse--Saying "I'm afraid I'll go bonkers and lose my
identity" may sound too insulting and also too selfish.

How many of us on this list have really worked (counting volunteer
hours) at least 10-20 hours a week while raising our babies and young
children? WE are the lucky ones because we found ways to be personally
fulfilled while we were at home, breastfeeding our kids.  We can talk
all we want about financial sacrifice.  The real sacrifice that we
didn't have to make was the sacrifice of self-image iand intellectual
stimulation.

Warmly-
Judy Gelman, IBCLC
Washington,DC

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