Elisheva says:
"And I am sure that the same feeling -- that when I am looking person A in
the
eye it is hard to focus on person B, even if person B is the newborn -- is
part of the reason that too many visitors are detrimental to bf, even if the
visitors are generally supportive."

That certainly was true for me - even when both person A and person B were
the newborns! It's the reason why I never nursed them at the same time, even
though certainly it would have been more "efficient" to do so. And in the
early weeks, with all my babies, I couldn't do anything at all except gaze
at them while I nursed; later, I was able to read while nsg, but only
lightweight stuff. That total monopolization of my attention was one of the
first surprises early motherhood brought me.

But I think people are probably different. Elisheva and I (and I bet lots of
others on this list) are probably pretty intense "people people" - when I'm
paying attention to you, I'm really paying attention to you, and it's hard
for me to split it. It's why I hate crowds, even of dear friends, and I find
it very distressing to be in conversational groups. I can easily focus on
multiple tasks at a time, but not multiple people.

But I know not everyone is like that. My husband doesn't pay any closer
attention to one person than he does to 5 or 6 (but can only do 1 "thing" at
a time). For people like him, who operate more by *rules* than by instinct,
and with less of a person-to-person compulsion, perhaps it wouldn't be so
distressing or disruptive to simultaneously nurse baby A and chat with
visitors. And it seems to me that many women I've worked with wouldn't do as
well at all without company, despite my constantly urging them to cut down
on the traffic flow. They draw strength and "oomph" from others, and seem
inclined to mope if left alone.

Another thing not to have a rule about, maybe...

Cathy Bargar, RN, IBCLC Ithaca NY

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