Paula Ray writes:

   Bottlefeeds - I have had occasions to work with moms who were "forced "
>to bf by md's, spouse, moms, ect.... I ask these moms, who sometimes are
>crying about "having to do this " to give it 2 weeks of try, give them my
>card with instructions to call me anytime they need support. At the end of
>however long they try, many are still very unhappy with bf for whatever
>reason, often to the point of interferring with bonding..  they look to me
>for "permission" to stop bf. As a patient advocate, ( I know this goes
>against some grains..) I tell them it is their choice, no one elses, and if
>they are truly unhappy, they can certainly switch to bot feeds, that it is
>important that they feel comfortable about feeding their baby. These are
>ladies who have had the insruction, who know what is best, but still need
>support if they don't choose "our " way.


I have also been following this discussion with great interest.  My position
has always been to educate mothers and their support system (parents,
in-laws, spouse, sisters, friends, doctors, etc.) and then allow them to
choose how they want to feed their baby.  I would never condone coercion or
forcing a woman to breastfeed, or to breastfeed for a specific time.  At the
same time, I think that Paula's approach, while it may solve the immediate
problem and make the symptoms go away, does nothing to treat the underlying
disease, if you will allow me the analogy.  In other words, something more
is going on in these women's lives with their feelings about their bodies,
their babies, or both, than just "I don't feel like breastfeeding."  Telling
them it's fine to bottlefeed solves the immediate issue, but doesn't help
the woman deal with her underlying problems.  It's like giving tylenol to
someone with a fever due to an antibiotic infection.  The fever goes away,
but the infection is still there.  I think it would be appropriate to give
these mothers permission to bottle-feed, but also give them support for
getting some counseling to address the underlying causes.  And if the real
problem is that she doesn't "like" the baby, doesn't like motherhood, isn't
coping well with the demands of a newborn, then she needs other kinds of
support, not just a switch from breastfeeding to bottlefeeding.  Because she
may think the breastfeeding is the problem, and switch, only to discover
that she still has all of these negative feelings, but now without the
oxytocin to help her cope with them.

Katherine A. Dettwyler, Ph.D.
Associate Professor of Anthropology
Texas A&M University
e-mail to [log in to unmask]
(409) 845-5256
(409) 778-4513