Four years ago, I received a frantic call from a new mother (also newly
single; the father deserted shortly before the baby's preterm birth) asking
for help.  Her 5-week early premie stayed in the hospital only one week,
but came home not breastfeeding and mother was afraid she also had no milk
(the pump given to her was a poor one and she had received no instructions
either).

It was a few days before Christmas and I was scheduled to fly out to see MY
baby soon to come home from Ghana.  Off I went in the car in the snow to
see this mother.

I was greeted enthusiastically at her door by a large furry beautiful
Siberian Husky with the most gorgeous blue eyes. Right behind her was the
new grandmother, worried about her granddaughter and her daughter, whom she
had bottle-fed.  "How can I possibly help them?" she asked.

I reassured her there were many things she could do to help.  New mother
and I retired to the nursery area of her bedroom after I was introduced to
the dog, who then went into her crate when asked. SIghing loudly, she lay
down, watching me as we worked.

Two hours later, the mother had pumped far more milk than before (using a
good pump). This reassured her she did indeed have milk, more than enough
to meet the baby's current needs. The baby had a suck that was ineffective
and erratic. She also tired very quickly, so we settled on finger-feeding
for the moment in order to get into her what she needed to grow.  A week
later, I returned and we got the baby onto the breast and nursing well.
Mother was overjoyed; grandmother admitted she was a bit jealous.  The dog
continued to wag her tail whenever I looked her way.

Two weeks later the mother no longer had to pump (I learned this after
returning from Christmas with my very brown son who now spoke Ga like he
had been born in Ghana!).  I felt that I had been given a present, too, in
that my baby was safe and this mother's baby was growing well and mom was
confident she could get through a difficult time to come (when she had to
return to work).

Nine months later, another Christmas-like present arrived, when she gave me
her dog (for all kinds of reasons) primarily because, "I knew you would
love her and give her a good home."

She is with me today, and I think of that mother (HER first mother, in a
way) and her own child, now 4 years old, everytime Keesha greets me in the
morning with a smile and a wag of that banner of a tail.

Holidays come in all seasons and all manner of packages.  May each of us,
around the world, enjoy these special times with family and friends (two-
and four-legged!) and remind ourselves that we probably influence more
people one at a time than we know.

Think of that first-time mom who now has more children-all of whom were
breastfed. Would she have been able to accomplish that as well/easily
without your gentle help with her first baby?

Think of that last-baby mom who is finally going to "try" breastfeeding,
who does so, and now uses some of what she learned through that experience
to parent all of her children.

Think of the new father whom you helped to calm, and encouraged to reassure
his partner so that she could begin breastfeeding again-after the relatives
and their well-meaning, but inappropriate, advice finally left.

Think of the new grandmother to whom you gave hints about how to be a
grandma.  After all, it was a first time for her, too!

Finally, think of yourself and all you have learned from these families you
have been privileged to help this year and in previous years.

Happy holidays to you all and let's hear it for a wonderful 1998!

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"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly
disguised as impossible situations."
Kathleen G. Auerbach,PhD, IBCLC (Ferndale, WA USA) [log in to unmask]
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