Many people have written about how they support the mother with her
decision, being positive about how much breastfeeding a mother did before
she decided to give it away.

Is this the same way we treat other health activities? Do we congratulate
someone on having given up smoking for two weeks, and say that's OK that
you've started again, next time you want to try giving up again I'll be
here to help you.  How about an obese patient who has had serious health
problems, dieted for a month, but is back on the cream buns again. Do we
say, you did really well for that month, maybe next time you're ready ....
And these examples are really only affecting the health of the person who
made the decision.

To use an old chestnut and acknowledge that the decision they make actually
affects someone else ... 'Oh you were so good to use a car seat restraint
for the first 6 months, I know how difficult it is to strap in an older
baby, so giving up is something I will support you with. Maybe next baby we
can talk about better support for you to teach them to sit still.'

This argument takes me back to the early days of breastfeeding support
where we were implored to never say that infant formula was bad for babies,
but merely 'look at how good' breastfeeding is - hence the acceptance by
just about everyone that infant formula is the norm.

I'm no psychologist (as my teenage daughter will attest!) but there must be
a few professional and gifted lay psychologists out there who could discuss
with us how to handle this situation so that the mother does come away from
the exchange knowing that this really is NOT the right thing to do, and
while we won't force her to do anything else, we likewise haven't 'given
her permission' or supported her that this is the way to go. I do believe
that mothers who choose not to breastfeed should KNOW that they have made a
decision which is a very poor decision and will impact someone other than
themselves.


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Denise Fisher
Health e-Learning
http://www.health-e-learning.com

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