>I really like proceeding from a position of strength, assuming that, yes,it
can be difficult and earth-shaking, but that we and our babies are equipped
to cope
with it - it's NORMAL, in other words.

It's certainly NORMAL in the US, where most new mothers are facing
parenthood in isolation, and with little or no experience of being around
young infants.  Most of us had only a few siblings, and were close in age to
our siblings (instead of the more natural 4-6 year birth spacing), and while
some may have babysat as teenagers, most teenagers don't spend 24 hours a
day with a newborn -- we babysit older babies, for 2-3 hour stretches.  Most
of us are not living with and around other women with new babies.  Contrast
that to traditional societies where women grow up surrounded by siblings,
half-siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews, and neighbors -- where every
family has 5-10 children, and where life is lived in extended families.  You
get to see lots of newborn babies, lots of breastfeeding, lots of ways to
handle common problems, to comfort babies, etc.  And so when it comes time
to be at home with your own first, you have a very good idea of what to
expect, plus you have co-wives, and your husband's brother's wives, and your
mother-in-law who also has a new baby, and your neighbors and your friends,
and your older sisters, etc. around to help you cope.

It is normal to be overwhelmed in the US when left at home by yourself with
a new infant and no experience of what it is like.  But parenting in
isolation this way is not normal or healthy for us as humans.

Kathy Dettwyler