Hello, I also lurk most of the time but I want to say "well said"
to Wendy Kryzanowski, the Perinatal Giref Coordinator who was
urging LCs not to hesitate in contacting mothers with gravely ill
babies.  I was one of those moms and my baby didn't make it.  She is
right that most people want to "spare" the grieivng parent and there-
fore, skirt the issue of the baby.  Finding anyone who will listen
is therapeutic.  Just expressing concern and allowing the mother
to tell the story again is helpful.

One of the things I remember very poignantly about the time my son
died was breastfeeding related.  I was terribly engorged and there
was nobody to feed my milk to ...  it was awful. And of course, a case
of artificial baby milk arrived at my doorstep.  I was so angry, all
thse women who had babies to breastfeed, and they didn't do it, and
there i sat with milk aplenty....

Helping grieving women to dry the milk up in this situation is a
humane thing to do.. although I certainly can empathize that it
would be difficult.  don't be afraid of what you might say, anything
is better than nothing..

Wendy Funk