Jacquie:

       with all due respect... it is not our place to judge the decisions
that this mother/couple are making...

        what this mother needs is assistance with her situation.. we live
neither in her home or her head....

         I think that the plan you originally  outlined is the place to
begin... mom can pump til she leaves and provide milk for her absence,... she
will need to pump while away for her health, comfort and can bring the milk
home if she so chooses... the baby will need to be fed while she is away...
how ever the baby is to be fed. when she returns... she will beed to spend
time and energy to put this relationship back together. Katie Winchell wrote
an excellent piece for JHL maybe 5(4) 1992...

         good luck ....

                      Patricia